Promoting Friendships for Preschool Children with Special Needs

Friendships, the bonds that children develop with important peers in their lives, bring pleasure, comfort, sometimes distress, and almost always important opportunities to learn and develop in a social world. In fact, establishing relationships with other children is one of the major developmental tasks of early childhood.¹ Friends, even in the toddler stage, can help children feel good about themselves, adapt more easily to childcare settings and build self confidence. But some children endure painful experiences of being excluded, teased, or shamed. Such experiences can lead to feelings that are damaging to a child's self esteem, create anxiety, interfere with learning and contribute to loneliness.² Some kids seem to be born with a distinct social talent that allows for friendship formation; others have to be taught how to relate, notes Dr. Mel Levine, a specialist in child development. In between are large numbers of young children who will benefit from planned opportunities to improve their ability to enjoy and play peacefully and cooperatively with age-mates.

What about kids with special needs?

Children with special needs³ (those with developmental, emotional, physical or learning difficulties) are often at risk for difficulties in social-emotional development. Many of these toddlers and preschoolers seem to lack the social and language skills needed to initiate or maintain age-mate relationships. Some have personal characteristics or personal styles that keep them isolated or contribute to rejection from peers, and have no idea that their own behavior is part of the problem. For example, children with an autistic disorder are impaired in their ability to interact with others, often preferring solitary, repetitive activities. They need support in order to participate in social games or activities. While children with a diagnosis of ADHD may be quite social and interested in peers, their low frustration tolerance, impulsivity, temper outbursts, and bossiness are qualities that often interfere with friendships. Unfortunately, children with special needs are the least preferred partners of children with more typical development, and are sometimes humiliated, harassed and deliberately excluded, or even the victims of bullies. Many of these children are clearly in need of specialized intervention if they are to have success with peer relationships.

The critical early years - Interventions make a difference

A number of studies provide evidence that an early emphasis on social competence through appropriate interventions can offset possible risks due to the child’s biology, environment, temperament, learning or emotional problems.^1,4 Since we know that early friendships for all children begin through play, providing frequent and appropriate play experiences with compatible age- mates could help youngsters with limited or poor social behaviors. With planning, early social behaviors and skills to enhance peer relationships can be promoted in all settings involving children, including:

• inclusive childcare or preschool settings
• center-based settings
• therapy sessions (e.g., speech, occupational therapy, physical therapy)
• home and community

Some questions about incorporating social-emotional goals in preschool

Unfortunately, the placement of children with special needs in self-contained or inclusionary settings, or individual therapies, is usually not designed to help children deal with the important developmental task of establishing peer relationships.

Given the importance of promoting social-emotional competence as early as possible, it is important to recognize when friendship difficulties are not only a part of growing up or a temperamental variable, but a sign that basic feelings and skills that are required to make friends are missing or not developing appropriately. The following questions should be considered in the planning successful interventions:

• What social goals can be expected of preschool programs offering services to children with special needs?
• When should difficulties with age-mates, disinterest, or fighting become a concern?
• When and how should concerns about social development and skills be identified and addressed?
• What is the best way to balance traditional assumptions about the priority of cognition or language?
• Should interventions to address important social-emotional competencies be delayed?
• Can social-emotional competence and a specific skill such as language be addressed simultaneously?
• Can the nature and quality of peer relationships be nurtured and strengthened?
• Do the staff, teachers, and related therapists understand the value of social-emotional attributes and have the skills to use their knowledge to accomplish multiple goals?
• How can the environment in the general school setting and the approach during therapy time be coordinated to include the goal of enhancing the child's social relationships?

Some possible answers

An integrated approach is ideal for promoting social-emotional development in children with special needs at the preschool level. Many established models of intervention in which "different team members perform largely independently is antithetical to recommended practices in EI/ECSE"[Early Intervention/Early Childhood Special Education].⁵In addition, it has been argued that efforts should be intensified to develop ways of "enhancing the peer competence of children with disabilities with special emphasis on unstructured situations in which exclusion occurs most frequently".⁶ Following are possible ways to pursue this goal: