What is Happening Now? Almost Five

Parents Are People, Too

Be Good to Yourself

Caring for ourselves allows us to care for our children. When your child starts school, you may find that your daily time demands change. You still may have younger children at home who need your attention or you may be launching the last child into the school years. You may work outside the home. You may be a single parent. Whatever your circumstances, it's important to take care of yourself.

Earlier in this series we examined children's self esteem. Parents need self esteem, too. You are worth caring for. So choose something satisfying that you enjoy; then be sure to set aside the time to do it.

Your positive attitude and action toward pursuing your interests right now is particularly important because you will be a role model for your child.

Your own curiosity and pursuit of new adventures will encourage your child to do the same.

Some parents also feel an emotional "tug" when kindergarten comes. It's a time to release what was and embrace what will be. This is one of the milestones of parenting. Congratulations! Now is a time for both you and your child to adjust to a new relationship and to find new ways to share with each other. Be good to your child ... and be good to yourself, too!

Take a Step at a Time

A step at a time ... that's the way we meet life. You and your child are approaching a "giant step." Kindergarten is just ahead.

You can help prepare your child for this next adventure. Give your preschooler some opportunities for group experiences so that he or she can practice the social skills of taking turns and asking for help. Children receive good practice from the peer group sessions they experience in day care, preschool, or play groups. If your child is not commonly with other children, now may be a good time to begin informal get-togethers with other young children.

Competence builds confidence. When children know how to handle a situation, their confidence frees them to Here are 10 ways to rear a reader. learn and enjoy. Allow and encourage your child to tackle manageable challenges without your help. Although it might be easier for you to fasten buttons and zippers, give your child adequate time and encouragement to master these skills. Confidence comes with knowing "I can do it myself!" Keep clothing simple so children can manage it. You may have to forego fashion for function until the selfhelp skills are second nature. The more basic skills children have, the more confident they will feel about kindergarten.

How to Encourage Reading

• For children just learning to read (ages 4 through 7), try labeling things. This promotes word recognition. Print labels clearly in upper and lower case letters on construction paper and cover with clear contact paper. Common labels in a child's room might include - mirror, blocks, chair, bed, lamp, and books.

• Get your child a library card and make regular visits to the library.

• Let your child open your junk mail and decide what is to be saved or tossed. Let children use junk mail in pretend play.

• Talk to your child daily about why you need to read - show your child that you must read when you pay bills.

• Invite your children to help you read a recipe as you cook. Read cooking instructions aloud. Point out measurement markings on measuring cups and spoons.

• Bring the child into a story by stopping to ask a question or discuss what might happen next. You might ask or say, "How many pigs are there? Let's count them together," "Why is the puppy dog sad?" "Can you show me everything in this picture that is red?" or "What do you think will happen next?"

• Let your child pretend to read by saying the repetitive phrases in a book such as "The House That Jack Built" or by telling a favorite story he or she has memorized.

• Be a good role model and make a practice of reading daily.

• Record a favorite book on tape or check out a book/ tape set from the library so that your child can read along.

• Use the tried and true method - read aloud to your child each night at bedtime or at another regular time.

Help Children Ask for Help

Children need to be encouraged to ask for help when they need it and to know that asking for help is OK at school, too. Let children speak for themselves to other children and adults. Find opportunities for communication such as: paying for items at the store, ordering lunch at a restaurant, checking out books at the library, or speaking with the lifeguard at the swimming pool. If you plan a visit to the kindergarten classroom ahead of time, take this opportunity to let your child speak for him or herself. The social and verbal strides children make from such practice are well worth the extra time.

Focus On: Video Games and Computers

In an earlier issue of this series we explored the influence of television on preschoolers. Parents also question the influence of video games and computers on preschoolers.

Be assured, your 4-yearold will not be "already behind" if he or she does not have access to computers before entering school. There is plenty of time for that kind of electronic exposure and skill development during school years. It is much more important during the preschool years to experience the real world by exploring and manipulating it directly. A real footrace to the tree at the end of the yard is so much better for a preschooler than a symbolic race on a video screen. You don't get the same feeling of physical exhilaration, the feel of wind on your face and in your hair, the rough touch of tree bark, or the mental "high" of knowing that by your own power you have achieved a goal. Preschoolers' mental development is more tuned in to real experiences. They are just beginning to understand that pictures, letters, and numbers are symbols for real things. Understanding the symbols that dominate video games and computer programs will come in the next few years.

That is not to say that electronic games and programs should be avoided entirely. But keep it light. Quit while they are still having fun, before there is an addictive desire to reach the next level.

Learning to deal with electronic equipment will require setting some family priorities. Master the "off" button and spend these precious preschool days being together, reading together, being, literally, "in touch" with the world.

Conversation Is Priceless

One of the most valuable ways parents can prepare children for school and for life is to teach them to converse. Knowing how to participate in two-way conversation is valuable. It requires good listening skills and good speaking skills, both of which develop with practice.

Many children do babble on; it can be tempting to nod and "uh-huh" without really listening. Make time to really listen and respond, encouraging your child to do the same. The more practice he or she has in this two-sided skill of conversing, the easier it will be to communicate ideas, needs, concerns, questions and feelings to a teacher and to peers in school.

Your preschooler spends more time thinking now. Thought and language are closely related, so offer several opportunities for your child to practice respectful conversation.

Material for these newsletters was prepared by Vikki Morain, former ISU Extension specialist in human development and family studies. Prepared for distribution by Lesia Oesterreich, ISU Extension specialist in human development and family studies. Edited by Carol Ouverson, ISU Extension communications specialist.

The Iowa Cooperative Extension Service's programs and policies are consistent with pertinent federal and state laws and regulations on nondiscrimination regarding race, color, national origin, religion, sex, age and handicap.

Cooperative Extension Service, Iowa State University of Science and Technology and the United States Department of Agriculture cooperating. Robert M. Anderson, Jr., director, Ames, Iowa. Distributed in furtherance of the Acts of Congress of May 8 and June 30, 1914.