Suggested Reading for Grandparents & Grandchildren
Source: Government of Erie County, New York
Topics: Child Grief and Bereavement, Grandparents as Primary Caregiver
Topics: Child Grief and Bereavement, Grandparents as Primary Caregiver
When someone you love dies or is gone for a long period of time the natural reaction is grief. Anyone old enough to love is old enough to grieve. Even before children are able to talk, they grieve when someone they love dies or is absent. Grandparents who are raising their grandchildren and who are willing to talk openly about the death or prolonged absence of the child's parent will help the children understand that grief is a natural feeling. Children need adults to confirm that it's all right to cry and be sad, and that the hurt they feel now won't last forever.
A child's questions need to be answered in language they can understand. Adults shouldn't worry about having all the answers. The most important thing is to answer as best you can and in a caring way.
The following is a list of books for children and books for adult caregivers that may help:
Books for Children
| Author: | Martha Whitmore Hickman |
| Title: | Robert Lives With His Grandparents: A Concept Book |
| Ages: | 4 - 8 |
| Date: | 1995 |
| Robert's parents are divorced, and he lives with his grandparents. When his grandmother decides to attend Parent?s Day at his school, he is afraid of what the other kids will think of him. | |
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| Author: | Jeanne Warren Lindsay |
| Title: | Do I Have a Daddy? |
| Ages: | 4 - 8 |
| Date: | 1991 |
| A read aloud book to help caregivers respond to children's questions about a parent they have never seen. | |
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| Author: | Tololwa Mollel |
| Title: | Kele's Secret |
| Ages: | Elementary School picture book |
| Date: | 1997 |
| A young African boy who lives with his grandparents on their coffee farm follows their hen in order to find out where she is hiding her eggs. | |
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| Author: | Cindy Klein Cohen and John T. Heiney |
| Title: | Daddy's Promise |
| Ages: | 4 - 8 |
| Date: | 1997 |
| Addresses all the different feelings children may have as they grieve a loved one. (Available through bookstores or amazon.com) | |
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| Author: | Brigitte Weninger |
| Title: | Good-Bye Daddy! |
| Ages: | 4 - 9 |
| Date: | 1995 |
| After spending the day with his daddy, a young bear is sad and angry that his father has to leave. The bear comes to learn that even when a father lives in another home, the love and caring never go away. | |
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| Author: | Laurene Krasny Brown and Marc Brown |
| Title: | Dinosaurs Divorce: A Guide for Changing Families |
| Ages: | 5 - 10 |
| Date: | 1986 |
| Dinosaur characters depict the range of experiences and feelings encountered by children of divorced parents. | |
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| Author: | Elizabeth Weitzman |
| Title: | Let's Talk About When A Parent Dies |
| Ages: | 5 - 9 |
| Date: | 1996 |
| Gives advice on surviving the death of a parent and suggests what feelings and behaviors to expect from others. | |
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| Author: | Jill Krementz |
| Title: | How It Feels When a Parent Dies |
| Ages: | 8 - 13 |
| Date: | 1981 |
| Children, ages seven through sixteen, tell how it feels to lose a parent through death. | |
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| Author: | Maureen K. Wittbold |
| Title: | Let's talk About When a Parent is in Jail |
| Ages: | Early Elementary |
| Date: | 1997 |
| Discusses why jail exits, why people go to jail and how to deal with a person in jail. | |
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| Author: | Jill Hastings and Marion Typpo |
| Title: | An Elephant in the Living Room: the Children?s Book and An Elephant in the Living Room: a Leader's Guide for Helping Children of Alcoholics |
| Ages: | 4 - 8 and their caregivers |
| Date: | 1994 |
| These books help children from alcoholic homes learn about addiction and teach new ways to handle their feelings. | |
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| Author: | J.K. Rowling |
| Title: | Harry Potter - series of 4 books |
| Ages: | 9 - 12 |
| Date: | 1998 - 2000 |
| Harry Potter, whose parents were killed when he was a baby, is being raised by his loathsome aunt and uncle. On his eleventh birthday, he learns he is really a wizard and has quite a special past and future. | |
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| Author: | Ruth White |
| Title: | Belle Prater's Boy |
| Ages: | Young Adult - fiction |
| Date: | 1996 |
| When Woodrow's mother disappears suddenly, he moves to his grandparent's home in a small Virginia town. He befriends his cousin and together they find the strength to face the terrible losses and fears in their lives. | |
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| Author: | Richard A. Gardner |
| Title: | The Boys and Girls Book about Divorce, With an Introduction for Parents |
| Ages: | Young Adult |
| Date: | 1992 |
| A warm reassurance and honest answers to questions frequently asked by children of divorced parents. | |
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| Author: | Rhoda McFarland |
| Title: | Drugs and Your Parents |
| Ages: | Young Adult |
| Date: | 1997 |
| How to survive in a chemically dependent household and how to get help for yourself and a parent. | |
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| Author: | Barbara Hermie Draimin |
| Title: | Everything You Need to Know When a Parent Has AIDS |
| Ages: | Young Adult |
| Date: | 1994 |
| Facts and information about AIDS for children of AIDS patients. | |
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| Author: | Jay Schleifer |
| Title: | Everything You Need to Know When Someone You Know Has Been Killed |
| Ages: | Young Adult |
| Date: | 1998 |
| Discusses death and the fear of death, explains the emotions experienced when someone you know is killed and gives strategies to cope with them. | |
Books for Adult Caregivers
| Author: | Sylvie De Toledo |
| Title: | Grandparents as Parents: A Survival Guide for Raising a Second Family |
| Date: | 1995 |
| Guidebook for any grandparent who is raising a grandchild. | |
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| Author: | Deborah Doucette-Dudman |
| Title: | Raising Our Children's Children |
| Date: | 1997 |
| The social, legal and emotional issues faced by grandparents as parents, such as custody, housing and prior mistreatment of the children. | |
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| Author: | Lillian Carson |
| Title: | The Essential Grandparent: A Guidebook to Making a Difference |
| Date: | 1996 |
| An easily readable book that honors grandparenthood, dispelling grandparenting myths and helping readers develop their own grandparenting strategy. | |
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| Author: | Eda J. Leshan |
| Title: | Grandparenting in a Changing World |
| Date: | 1997 |
| Insightful, witty advice on such topics as grandparents who remarry, grandchildren who live far away, grandparents raising their grandchildren and more. | |
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| Author: | Lenora Madison Poe |
| Title: | Black Grandparents As Parents |
| Date: | 1992 |
| Focuses on the adjustments grandparents must make socially, emotionally and economically when raising their grandchildren. | |
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| Author: | Traci Truly |
| Title: | Grandparents Rights: With Forms |
| Date: | 2nd Edition 1999 |
| Simple, legal explanation of the law regarding grandparent custody and visitation rights. Includes legal forms and example cases. | |
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| Author: | Carole B. Cox |
| Title: | To Grandmother's House We Go and Stay: Perspectives on Custodial Grandparents |
| Date: | 1999 |
| Information for custodial grandparents. | |
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| Author: | Joan Callander |
| Title: | Second Time Around; Help for Grandparents Who Raise Their Children's Kids |
| Date: | 1999 |
| Information and support for grandparents raising grandchildren, including a discussion of the issues facing kids today. | |
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| Author: | Bob Rowland and Sally Houtman |
| Title: | To Grandma's House, We Stay: When You Have to Stop Spoiling Your Grandchildren and Start Raising Them |
| Date: | 1999 |
| Help with understanding the new relationship with the custodial grandparent and child. Includes a list of helpful resources. | |
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| Author: | Joseph Crumbley and Robert L. Little |
| Title: | Relatives Raising Children: An Overview of Kinship Care |
| Date: | 1997 |
| Discussion of the many issues facing family members raising others' children, from the perspectives of the child, the caregiver and the parent. | |
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| Author: | Rebecca M. Yaffe, and Lonnie F. Hoade |
| Title: | When a Parent Goes to Jail: A Comprehensive Guide for Counseling Children of Incarcerated Parents |
| Date: | 2000 |
| How to help children cope with their emotions and the legalities of their parent's situation. (Available through bookstores and amazon.com) | |
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| Author: | Silverman Janis |
| Title: | Help Me Say Goodbye: Activities for Helping Kids Cope When a Special Person Dies |
| Date: | 1999 |
| An art and activity book to help children cope with the death of a loved one. (available through bookstores and amazon.com) | |
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| Author: | Doughy Center Staff |
| Title: | 35 Ways to Help a Grieving Child |
| Date: | 1999 |
| Information to help grieving children taken from the stories of other children and adolescents who have lost a loved one. (Available through bookstores and amazon.com) | |
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| Author: | Phyllis Rolfe Silverman |
| Title: | Never Too Young to Know: Death in Children's Lives |
| Date: | 2000 |
| Offers a practical and theoretical approach to how children cope with death and how to support and help them. | |
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| Author: | Earl A. Grollman |
| Title: | Bereaved Children and Teens: A Support Guide for Parents And Professionals |
| Date: | 1995 |
| Understanding the age, religious and cultural differences in children coping with death. | |
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| Author: | Cynthia MacGregor |
| Title: | "Why Do People Die" Helping Your Child Understand With Love and Illustrations |
| Date: | 1998 |
| Genuine, sensitive story designed to read aloud to young children to answer questions about death. | |
Reprinted with the permission of the government of Erie County.
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