Taking "Three Looks"

Are you ready to commit for life to the likely mother of your children?

Perhaps the most vital factor that will affect the relationships you will have with your kids is the quality of the relationship that you have with the mother of your kids. Whether you will marry her or not, you will be linked to her for life because you will have kids together. But think hard about marrying her. Children with married parents are healthier, on average, than are children without married parents. Your kids will do best when your and the mother’s goals are aligned. A good marriage will tend to align your and the mother’s goals for the good of your kids. Besides, marriage is good for men. Married men, on average, are healthier, have better and more sex, and live longer, fuller, and happier lives than do unmarried men.

What’s your own “fathering history?”

Men who have had a good relationship with their fathers tend to model the way their fathers raised them. Men who have had a poor or no relationship with their fathers try to do what their fathers did not do for them – they “re-work” the poor model they had. It’s vital that you ask how your relationship with your father will affect the kind of father you will be.

Do you know that kids spell love “T-I-M-E?”

Kids spell love “T-I-M-E.” Your kids will need your presence, attention, and time. Commit the time you will need to the job of being a good father. Your kids will measure the quality of your relationship with them by the quantity of time (how much time) that you spend with them. So, figure out how you will balance work and family time so that you can spend time with your kids.

To see all of the National Fatherhood Initiative's quarterly newsletter's, go to https://www.fatherhood.org/ftnewsletter.asp.