Teenage Birth Rate Sees First Rise Since 1990s

What This Means to You

Whether kids are 2 (and asking about why brother looks different in the bath) or 12 (and inquiring about tampons vs. pads), talking about sexuality can be tricky and downright uncomfortable at times. But it can take some of the stigma out of the "big talk" if you don't wait to have it all in one big, potentially awkward session.

Instead, try to establish an ongoing dialogue about sexual development, decision-making, and values as children grow. This can help kids feel far more prepared when they start experiencing some new and often really confusing feelings and changes. Plus, they'll feel a lot more comfortable coming to you if they have any questions, no matter what they are.

Of course, lots of schools start sex education in the classroom in the fifth or sixth grade, covering topics like anatomy, abstinence, birth control, sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), and pregnancy. But it's wise to begin the conversation long before this, when kids may already be starting to go through some of the emotional and physical changes of puberty. Still, how and when you talk to your children about sex is a very personal decision. Here are a few ways to keep the lines of communication open:

• Seize the opportunity to have natural, in-context "teachable moments" from the get-go — like when they're potty training, bathing, or expecting a new baby brother or sister.
• Try to approach discussions about sexuality like you would any other health topic — not as something dirty or embarrassing. Treat sex as a normal part of the human experience.
• Answer questions as honestly as you can, keeping kids' ages and maturity in mind. You can always start with less detail and add more as they become more curious — but lying or avoiding the tough questions can easily backfire. If you don't know the answer, say you'll find out and report back or look up the answer together.
• Give the facts, but also give them a sense of where you stand. Explain your values and why you feel that way.
• If your kids are in sex-education classes in school, talk to the teacher about ways to coordinate discussions at home with the school's lesson plans.
• Help kids feel good about themselves by giving regular, honest, positive praise, plus constant support and affection. Kids with healthy self-esteem are less likely to give in to peer pressure and will be better able to handle relationships.

Before kids and teens make that very adult decision to have sex, they need to understand that it can come with many adult consequences, too — chiefly, pregnancy and some potentially serious STDs. No matter when you decide to broach the subject of sex, help your kids comprehend how their decisions today really can have a long-lasting effect on their lives now and far into the future.

Source: "Births: Preliminary Data for 2006," CDC's National Center for Health Statistics, December 2007.