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makelessnoise - Ask for help if you need it. Remember that it is a sign of strength, not weakness, to seek help and accept it when problems are overwhelming . Seek out professional counselors in your community, or from PWP and friends.
- Allow yourself and your children time for readjustment.
- Remember that a single parent home doesn't have to be harmful to your children and don't attribute all difficulties to your single situation. Whether you are the visiting parent or the primary rearing the children, your ability to cope makes an important difference.
- Allow bitterness, jealously, blaming, revenge, and self-pity to disappear from your life. Such emotions drain energy from the important tasks of building a good home for your children and a new life for yourself.
- Allow your children to respect and love the other parent. Don't belittle the parent or involve the children in battles, or force them to "choose." Remember that the children's feelings and perceptions of parents are not the same as those of the spouse for a spouse.
- Try to remember the positive parts of your marriage, but without living in the past. Share the good memories with your children.
- Make sure your children understand that they did not cause the single parent situation and that they are not being rejected by the other parent. Make sure they know you won't abandon them and that you will be able to care for them.
- Be open and honest; share your feeling with your children and let them share theirs with you. But don't impose your feelings, or demand their confidences.
- Make an effort to think of yourself as an individual and not part of someone else. Examine old feelings of dependency and neediness. The value you place on yourself will be reflected in your children's sense of self-worth.
- While it's easy to become wrapped up in your children, take some time for yourself. Use your single status as an opportunity for growth and development. Make each day count by trying something new or making new friends. Remember that your situation will change old relationships and will lead to new ones.
Links and Advice for single parents. ... maintained by lone parents. At this site you will find valuable information about support for lone parent families . ...
http://www.familyrapp. com/Results/archive_ results_details.asp? ArticleID=888
Reprinted with the permission of A-better-child.org. © 2006 - 2008, A-Better-Child.org
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