Tips for Parents: Countdown to College (page 2)

Help your child say good-bye.

Encourage your child to spend time with family and friends over the summer. Be there to talk when your child comes home from saying good-bye to a high school friend. Have some family get-togethers.

"Make occasions to restate your love, concerns, and respect for your child," says John Boshoven, counselor for continuing education at Community High School (MI) and director of college counseling at the Jewish Academy of Metropolitan Detriot.

Make plans for communication.

Discuss with your child ways to communicate with you while she's at college. Many parents enjoy receiving e-mails from their college-aged children, and students often prefer this method of communication because it allows them to reach out to you on their timetable. If you'd like a weekly phone call, make that clear to your child. Once she's at college, ask her when it would be easiest to get her on the phone. Also, expect the frequency of communication to vary. Some kids get swept away by the activities of college life and neglect communication with their family. Others may call every day until they feel more at ease in their new life. It depends on the personality and college experiences of your child.

Plan the big day.

If possible, give your child some latitude about whether you accompany him to the campus. If you accompany your child, be flexible. Talk with your child ahead of time about your plans and expectations.

Once on campus, brace yourself for the brush-off. Many first-year students are eager to start their new lives sans parents. Your child may be ready for you to leave before you're ready to go. On the other hand, some students unexpectedly cling to their parents. Again, it depends on your child's personality.

One good idea is to leave your child to unpack with his roommate(s) while you run to the store to pick up any necessities. That gives your child some time to himself before a possibly emotional departure. Many colleges now offer parent orientations, which give parents some information about the college and its programs. This can be reassuring to anxious parents—and can give you the tools to guide your child in case of problems in those first weeks.

Give yourself time.

Home may seem very different without your child. If you have other children at home, remember that siblings will also go through a period of adjustment. And give yourself time to adjust to daily life without your college-aged child. You may grieve for a time or have a sense of time passing too quickly (or slowly). This is when talking to other parents can be especially helpful. In time, both you and your child will adjust to her being at college--just in time for your child to return for the holidays!