Tips for Parents: Dos and Don'ts for Helping Your Child Through College Admission

DO Remind Your Child of Deadlines

The life of a high school student is often very busy, and teenagers are still learning time management skills. So help your child begin keeping a calendar or day planner to keep track of all those college application deadlines (as well as her school work and activities).

DON'T Nag

"Say what you have to say and drop it," advises Scott White, a counselor at Montclair High School (NJ). "If the process delays or changes because students don't do what they are supposed to do, this is one time they may have to live with the consequences."

Remember, the goal is for your child to "own" the process, so that he can make college decisions that are right for him.

DO Listen and Offer Advice

For many students, their choice of college is their first adult decision––and it can be difficult. Likewise, it can be difficult for parents to find the right balance of guiding their child without making decisions for her. "Parents should be aware of what is going on, should make sure that deadlines are not missed and the proper tests are taken, and should be available when the student wants advice," says White. Try to act as a sounding board for your child: ask good questions and let your child supply the answers.

DON'T Make Decisions for Your Child

Your child needs to choose a college based on his individual abilities, interests and personality. To that end, beware of pressuring your child to apply to the college(s) you would like him to attend.

"This is the first time the student is making a decision that should be theirs alone," says White. "About things such as schooling, camp, etc., it was your decision with your child's input. [The college choice] is the opposite."

Of course, encourage your child to apply to a good range of schools, but your child must decide for himself which colleges to apply to and which college to attend. After all, your child will be the one who spends several years living and learning at college.

DO Be Your Child's Cheerleader

The college admission process can be stressful. Your child may feel uncertain about the decisions she must make, fearful of rejection from colleges, or anxious about meeting deadlines for both college applications and her school work. Over the course of the search process, your child may change her mind (more than once) about her career aspirations, academic goals, or what she wants in a college. All of this is normal. Parents can help their college-bound child by offering plenty of encouragement, a listening ear, and gentle guidance. And don't forget to celebrate each step along your child's journey from high school to college.