What to Do About Bullying: Tips for Parents

1. Encourage your child to report bullying incidents to you. 

• Validate your child's feelings by letting him/her know that it is normal to feel hurt, sad, scared, angry, etc.  
• Let your child know that s/he has made the right choice by reporting the incident(s) to you and assure your child that s/he is not to blame.  
• Help your child be specific in describing bullying incidents: who, what, where, when. (Look for patterns or evidence of repeated bullying behaviors.)

2. Ask your child how s/he has tried to stop the bullying.

3. Coach your child in possible alternatives. 

• Avoidance is often the best strategy.
   
  • Play in a different place.  
  • Play a different game.  
  • Stay near a supervising adult when bullying is likely to occur.
     
• Look for ways to find new friends. 
   
  • Support your child by encouraging him/her to extend invitations for friends to play at your home or to attend activities.  
  • Involve your child in social activities outside of school.

4. Treat the school as your ally. 

• Share your child's concerns and specific information about bullying incidents with appropriate school personnel.  
• Work with school staff to protect your child from possible retaliation.  
• Establish a plan with the school and your child for dealing with future bullying incidents.

5. Encourage your child to seek help and to report bullying incidents to someone s/he feels safe with at the school: 

• Adult in charge of a specific activity or area (such as the playground, lunchroom, field trips, bus lines, gym, classroom)  
• Teacher  
• Counselor  
• Principal

6. Use school personnel and other parents as resources in finding positive ways to encourage respectful behaviors at school. 

• Volunteer time to help supervise on field trips, on the playground, or in the lunchroom.  
• Become an advocate for schoolwide bullying prevention programs and policies.

7. Encourage your child to continue to talk with you about all bullying incidents. 

• Do not ignore your child's report.  
• Do not advise your child to physically fight back. (Bullying lasts longer and becomes more severe when children fight back. Physical injuries often result.)  
• Do not confront the child who bullies.  
• Do not confront the family of the child who bullies.

See our other resources: 

• More Parenting Tips:
  
  • Partnering with Parents to Prevent Child Sexual Abuse
  • Bullying and Seuxal Harassment in Schools
  • Battling Bullying-A Whole-School Approach
  • Research on Bullying Behavior
  • Internet links to other resources on bullying and sexual harassment