What to Do if You Suspect Abuse

If you think a family member is abusing a child

Eighty percent of abused children are harmed by someone they know and often love. As a member of a family where abuse may be taking place, you are in both a tricky and powerful position. The first and most important thing you can do is to protect the child from further harm. Why is the child being abused? Is there something you can do to help out? Perhaps Mom is working too hard and loses her temper quickly. If you can, volunteer to help out more at home to give Mom or Dad a break. Another option is to recommend parenting classes, parent support groups, or a doctor or counselor for the person responsible for the abuse. If none of these courses of action seem promising or possible, you should get outside help immediately. There are many places you can call for help.

1. Contact your local child protective agency, police, hospital, or emergency hotline.
2. • Agencies for reporting abuse are under the Department of Health and Human Resources in the phone book. If it is a weekend, holiday, or late at night, contact the police or an emergency hotline.
   • You can always call the Childhelp USA 24-hour national child abuse hotline at 1-800-4-A-CHILD. Childhelp USA is a nonprofit, non-governmental organization that can put you in touch with a counselor immediately or help you find a reporting agency near you.
   • Must be reported in the state in which it occurs.
   • You can remain anonymous, although it makes it more difficult for the agency to contact you if they have further questions.
   • Try to supply the child’s name, age, address, gender, school, and parents’ names.
   • You can make the report in person, over the telephone, or by mail.
3. File a report with the child welfare agency.
   • More and more frequently, the offender rather than the child will be removed from the home. This depends on many factors including the immediate danger to the child, the motivation for the abuse, and the ability of the offender to hurt the child. The offender may receive therapy, or if it is a severe case, may serve time in jail. Sometimes children are placed in temporary foster care. The welfare agency will do its best to keep the family together as long as it remains healthy for the child.
4. The child welfare agency will decide upon the appropriate course of action.

If you think your child is being abused

If you think your child may have been abused, be on the lookout for warning signs. Are there physical signs? What behavioral changes are taking place? Take your child to see a doctor as soon as possible. Have the symptoms treated immediately, and ask your doctor for advice. If your child is old enough, talk to him about abuse. Talk calmly and avoid direct questions. Try to learn where the abuse may be taking place. If you know who the abuser is, limit or supervise contact between your child and that person at all times. Even if your child will not talk about it, he may be quite scared. Comfort him and make him feel safe. There are many places you can call for help.

1. Contact your local child protective agency, police, hospital, or emergency hotline.
2. • Agencies for reporting abuse are under the Department of Health and Human Resources in the phone book. If it is a weekend, holiday, or late at night, contact the police or an emergency hotline.
   • You can always call the Childhelp USA 24-hour national child abuse hotline at 1-800-4-A-CHILD. Childhelp USA is a nonprofit, non-governmental organization that can put you in touch with a counselor immediately or help you find a reporting agency near you.
   • Abuse must be reported in the state in which it occurs.
   • You can remain anonymous, although it makes it more difficult for the agency to contact you if they have further questions.
   • Supply as much information as you can regarding the child, the offender, and the type of abuse.
   • You can make the report in person, over the telephone, or by mail.
3. File a report with the child welfare agency.
   • In the meantime, do everything possible to keep your child from further harm. Reassure him that you will keep him safe. Consider taking your child to therapy for the abuse if he is old enough. See more information under “What to do if your child talks to you about abuse.”
4. The child welfare agency will decide upon the appropriate course of action.

What to do if a child tells you about abuse

If a child confides in you about abuse, you need to know how to respond. There are many ways a child can tell you about abuse, and not all of them are direct. Oftentimes, the child will drop hints, ask spontaneous questions about abuse, or allude to abuse in some manner. Be on the lookout for these signs so that you can be sure to spot the clues the child is offering in the hope of finding help. There are many things you can do to make the child comfortable and confident enough to confide in you.

• Listen carefully.
• Remain calm. If you show signs of shock, horror, or disbelief, the child may stop short and refuse to talk about it any more.
• Tell the child that you believe him and that you are glad he told you.
• Comfort the child and reassure him that it is not his fault. Explain that you are not angry with him, and he has not been bad.
• Tell the child you will make sure that it stops. Comfort him and make him feel safe.
• Do not promise not to tell or make other promises you cannot keep.
• Do not discuss the issue with anyone but those helping the child.
• Do not push the child to give details he does not want to give.
• Particularly in cases of physical and sexual abuse, take the child to a doctor to be examined.
• Get counseling for the child, and perhaps for the whole family.
• Seek help. Contact your local child protective agency, police, hospital, or emergency hotline.
• Agencies for reporting abuse are under the Department of Health and Human Resources in the phone book. If it is a weekend, holiday, or late at night, contact the police or an emergency hotline.
• You can always call the Childhelp USA 24-hour national child abuse hotline at 1-800-4-A-CHILD. Childhelp USA is a nonprofit, non-governmental organization that can put you in touch with a counselor immediately or help you find a reporting agency near you.
• Abuse must be reported in the state in which it occurs. File a report with the child welfare agency.
• You can remain anonymous, although it makes it more difficult for the agency to contact you if they have further questions.
• Supply as much information as you can regarding the child, the offender, and the type of abuse.
• You can make the report in person, over the telephone, or by mail.
• The child welfare agency will decide upon the appropriate course of action.