Why It's Important to Talk About Sexual Orientation

Why It's Important to Talk about Sexual Orientation

Whether or not you talk with your kids about sexual orientation, young people receive messages about this topic from various sources including their peers, the media, and the Internet. As parents and caregivers, you have a crucial role in dispelling myths, challenging stereotypes, and expressing the idea that everyone deserves respect regardless of their race, ethnicity, religion, or sexual orientation.

The Basics of Sexual Orientation

The Basics of Sexual Orientation Sexual orientation refers to a person's physical, emotional, and spiritual attraction to individuals of the same and/or opposite gender. Some people know from a young age that they are attracted to people of the same or opposite gender. For others, it can be an evolving process.

No one knows for certain why people have different sexual orientations. There are many theories including genetics, prenatal and socio-cultural influences, and psychosocial factors, as well as a combination of all of these. But we do know that sexual orientation is not something that is chosen. Nor is it something that can be changed by medicine or therapy. Sexual orientation is one part of a person's multifaceted life. The truth is that gay men, lesbian women, bisexuals, and heterosexuals can all have fulfilling lives and establish friendships and lifelong committed relationships. People's beliefs about sexual orientation vary and are based on their religious, cultural, and family values. While some families already discuss this topic, for others the topic may be difficult.

Terms to Talk About

When talking about sexual orientation, many different terms may be used. These definitions can help make conversations clear.

Heterosexual (or straight) refers to a person who is attracted to and falls in love with someone of the other gender. Homosexual (or gay man or lesbian woman) refers to a person who is attracted to and falls in love with someone of the same gender.

Bisexual refers to a person who is attracted to and falls in love with someone of either gender.

Many people identify themselves as having a certain sexual orientation based on who they are attracted to or fall in love with, but this is not always the case. For example, there are some people who have sexual thoughts and experiences with people of the same gender, but who do not consider themselves to be gay, lesbian, or bisexual. And there are people who have sexual thoughts and experiences with people of the other gender but who do not consider themselves to be heterosexual.

There are a couple of more words that you may hear when learning about sexual orientation. Questioning: A person who is unsure of their sexual orientation. Transgender: A person whose internal feelings of being male or female differ from the sexual anatomy they were born with.

Although transgender refers to a person's sexual identity, not his/her sexual orientation, one often hears about transgender individuals as part of the gay and lesbian community. This is why you may have heard the acronym LGBTQ, which stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual,Transgender, and Questioning.

Sharing Messages about Sexual Orientation with Your Children During "Teachable Moments"

Before talking with your children, it's helpful to consider the messages you want to share. Perhaps you want to share the following using clear, age-appropriate language.

Messages for Young People Age Five through Eight: