The Wonderful Three-Year-Old (continued)

A three-year-old likes to be around other children. He will play alongside other children, using the same toys or participating in the same game. Play time for three- year-olds can lead to fights and tears. A three-year-old can understand the idea of taking turns and he may understand that other people have feelings. However, because he is self-centered, it is still very difficult for him to share. His lack of social and communication skills might cause him to hit or shove to get what he wants. Monitor your child's play with his playmates. Encourage him to use words instead of hitting to express what he wants.

A three-year-old is naturally self-centered. He truly believes the world revolves around him. However, he is beginning to understand that other people have feelings and needs, too. For example, if you hurt yourself, your child might give you a hug of comfort, or if he hears a baby cry, he might tell you the baby needs you. You can encourage your child's awareness of others' feelings and needs by talking about them. For example, you might say, "Grandma feels sad today. Let's give her a hug." Or if your child asks for more juice, you might say, "Please wait a moment while I finish my cereal."

Emotional Development

A three-year-old can be lively, affectionate, cooperative, and good-humored. Around three- and-a-half, though, he may suddenly become strong- willed and disagreeable. He may become emotionally insecure and anxious. He may seem as if she is trying to go back to being a baby. He may also become very picky and hard-to- please.

One reason that a three-and-a-half-year-old becomes rebellious and insecure is that he is moving towards more independence. He is testing limits to find out who he is and what he can do. However, becoming independent is hard work. It can make a child feel anxious and in need of a lot of encouragement and comfort.

When your child is going through this difficult stage, remember that it is just that, a stage. Things will improve soon. Limit the frequency and duration of conflicts. Sometimes it is better to overlook certain behaviors (such as whining) and to let him have his way once in a while (for example, if he wants to wear a raggedy pair of pants). In the meantime, it is important to be calm, patient, and loving with your child. Here are a few tips for helping your child through this rough stage:

• Continue to give your child tasks to do each day, but do not ask more of her than is necessary.
• Give clear, simple directions.
• Give choices when possible.

Another reason that a three-year-old may become anxious or irritable is that he has developed a new fear. He may suddenly be afraid of things he was never afraid of before, such as the dark, baths, loud noises, or animals. If your child is afraid of something, acknowledge his fears. Do not dismiss his feelings. Instead, listen to what scares his and reassure his. For example, if your child is scared of the dark, tell him it is okay to be scared and that you will help him get rid of what makes him scared. Look under the bed, look in the closet, even get a bottle of water and squirt out any monsters he believes might be in the room with him. Leave a night light on to reassure him that everything is okay.