The Wonderful Three-Year-Old (continued)

Intellectual Development

Around age three, a child's thinking becomes more flexible. He can imagine objects and events, and loves to tell stories and play pretend. Telling stories and playing pretend lets him try out different roles and behaviors. Provide your child with dolls or action figures, animal figures, dress-up clothes, a toy telephone, or any other toys that let him act out scenes. At times he may have difficulties distinguishing fact from fantasy. This is very typical at his age. Avoid dismissing his fears or accusing him of telling tales or lying. Instead, in a calm and loving manner explain what the reality of the situation is.

Also provide your child with paper, crayons, clay, scissors, paste, pegboards, blocks, and other creative materials. With his greater hand- eye coordination, he can really enjoy creative activities such as drawing and building. As your child plays and creates, show interest in what he is doing. Get down on the floor and have some playtime with him. Do not dominate his play by asking too many questions. Instead, attend to what he is doing by describing and commenting on what he is creating or playing with.

A three-year-old can use simple sentences to make his needs known and share his ideas. New words are interesting to him. He likes to hear them and try to use them. Encourage your child to speak and try new words by listening and responding to him. When he makes a mistake, do not correct him with "no, that's wrong" or "say it this way." Instead, repeat what your child said pronouncing the words correctly. Your encouragement will motivate your child to keep trying.

You can also expand your child's language abilities by reading. Be aware, your child will probably want you to read his favorite book over and over again. Do so cheerfully. Eventually he will learn to read the book on his own, which is a skill that will serve him his whole life.

Discipline

Parents want what is best for their children. What is best for a three-year-old is to feel secure and learn how to get along with others. You can help your child feel secure and get along with others by providing love and setting reasonable limits.

Make sure the limits are appropriate for your child's abilities. Also, make sure that he understands them.

When your child oversteps the limits, stay calm and positive, and take action. First, focus on the behavior, not the child. Tell your child his misbehavior is unacceptable and explain how it affects others. Then, tell him what behavior you expect instead. Tell him what the consequences will be if he continues to misbehave.

For example, you take your child to the park to play with a friend, and your child starts kicking and throwing sand. Use this moment to teach your child how to behave with others. In a calm voice, tell your child that kicking and throwing sand hurts others and is unacceptable. Tell him that if he is angry with her friend, he can tell her with words. Tell him that if he continues to throw sand and kick, you will remove him from the park. You are giving your child a choice and telling him the consequences of his behavior.

If your child continues to misbehave, keep your word and remove him from the park. Do not wait to remove him until after telling him to stop five or six times. If you do not follow through as you say you will, you teach your child he can get away with unacceptable behavior (such as five or six extra kicks) for a while before you will do anything.