Advice For Families When Welcoming a New Baby

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So you are having a new baby! How exciting! You may be wondering what you should tell your toddler or preschooler about becoming a big brother/sister. How should you introduce the idea of a new baby? What are some ways to help your child prepare for this life-changing event? How can you prevent sibling rivalry? While there are no set answers to these questions, the following tips might help:

How should I introduce the idea of a new baby?

• Avoid breaking the news to your child too early. Seven or eight months is a long time for a preschooler to wait. Try telling your child three or four months before the baby’s arrival.
• Make your explanations very simple for your toddler or preschooler. Explain that a new baby is growing in a special place inside Mommy called a womb. (Using the terms tummy or stomach can confuse children into thinking that you ate something that made the baby.)
• Answer questions in a concrete way when they are asked. Don't go overboard with scientific data!

What are some ways to help my child prepare for a new sibling?

• Explain what babies are like in realistic terms—they are not playmates for quite a while. They usually sleep, eat, and cry at first.
• Show your child his or her own baby pictures as a springboard for a discussion of babies. Also, read books about new babies and their behavior so your child will have an idea of what to expect (such as And After That by Jeanne Ashbé, 2002).
• If your doctor, midwife, or hospital has an age-appropriate program for siblings, think about enrolling your child.
• Bring your youngster along on shopping trips for the new baby and let him pick out a special gift.

How can I prevent sibling rivalry?

• Encourage big brother/sister to talk to the new baby while it is still in the womb.
• Emphasize that this is his or her baby, too.
• Spend as much one-on-one time with your older child as possible. Perhaps Mom and Dad can take turns with the new baby so that each can have more time with the older sibling.
• Avoid having the baby in your arms the first time your child sees it. If the baby is in a bassinette or next to Mom, it may not be as threatening the first time. Invite big brother or sister to hold the baby right away.
• Engage the help of the older sister or brother in diapering, burping, and feeding.
• Give lots of encouragement to your older child for all of his or her “grown-up” accomplishments.

  Even when the best preventive measures are taken, most children show some signs of rivalry. Your consistence, patience, and love will show your child that you still love him the same as always.

Suggested Web sites:

www.parallaxweb.com/parenting/sibriv.html