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Bullying, Sexual Harassment, and Dating Violence (page 2)

By Susan Swearer and Adam Collins, M.A.
Bullying Special Edition Contributor

Bullies Who Date

Students who are involved in bullying often have different experiences than those who are not involved in bullying. In general, adolescents engaging in bullying behaviors are at-risk for developing unhealthy romantic relationships. When compared to their peers, bullies report the following behaviors:

  • Experiencing more physical and social aggression with their boyfriends or girlfriends. Physical aggression ranges in severity from slapping a partner to choking, punching, or beating up a partner. Social aggression includes acts such as spreading rumors or excluding a partner from group activities.
  • Describing their relationship with their partner as less emotionally supportive and having less equality than non-bullies.
  • Placing more of an importance on their romantic relationships than their peers.
  • Dating at an earlier age. In one study, the average age for bullies to begin dating was at the end of their 10th year, while their non-bully peers began dating around the middle of their 11th year.
  • Engaging in more advanced forms of dating (i.e., more one-on-one dating than group activities) than their peers. Bullies spend more time outside of school with a partner and, overall, develop romantic relationships earlier than their peers (9).

Why Do Bullies Have Unhealthy Romantic Relationships?

While there is no clear-cut answer, researchers do have a good idea as to why bullies have unhealthy romantic relationships. The early social interactions students have with their peers influence the beliefs and attitudes they bring into their romantic relationships. Students who are surrounded by peers modeling appropriate social interactions are more likely to prescribe to these norms. If adolescents have emotionally supportive friendships, they are more likely to have supportive romantic relationships as well. Similarly, those who have friendships marked by intimidation and coercion are more at-risk for developing unhealthy romantic relationships (10 & 11). Furthermore, those involved in dating violence are more likely to have witnessed parental violence and view violence in dating relationships as acceptable (6, & 12). Being raised in a home where it is acceptable to resolve disputes through aggression provides adolescents with poor problem-solving skills for their own romantic relationships in the future. 

As children become adolescents, their behaviors become more complex.  It is important to realize that although the rates of bullying decrease over time, it may be that the bullying is simply taking on different forms, such as sexual harassment and dating violence. Educators and parents should be aware of the complexity of social relationships during this time and need to realize that with increased interest and opportunities, students who bully may also be engaging in sexual harassment and dating violence.

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