College Admission Essays: Avoiding Writing Traits Guaranteed to Annoy the Admissions Committee

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In this article, I discuss style and tone and reveal the most common turn-offs of the college admission essays. 

I studied the word list and by golly I’m going to use it: Unnatural vocabulary

“As I ambulated through the fronds of semi-tropical vegetation, I. . . .” You what? Memorized the word list at the back of your SAT or ACT review book? I know that you want to impress the admissions committee with your scholarly preparedness, but sounding like a talking dictionary is not helpful. Not to minimize the benefits of a good vocabulary, but come on now, do you really have to squeeze every word from an SAT list into the same sentence? To make the point another way: Would you want to continue reading the first sentence of this paragraph? Probably not.

Here’s a secret about vocabulary: New words worm their way into your understanding gradually. First, you learn the meaning of the word from a list or from a dictionary. At this stage you know how to define the word on a test, but it’s still a stranger. Next, you begin to hear the word in conversation or notice it as you read. The word is becoming an acquaintance now, more familiar each time you meet it, but it’s not yet ready for an invitation into everyday expression. Lastly, when the word is a true friend, you feel comfortable inserting it into your speaking and writing, where it meshes smoothly with other old friends, the words you’ve been using for years.

Here’s another secret about vocabulary: Words have meanings (denotations, in dictionary terms) and associations (connotations). If you understand only the denotation of an expression but not the connotation, you may end up making some embarrassing mistakes. For example, both “proud” and “haughty” have similar denotations; they describe the attitude of people who are fairly pleased with their own accomplishments. But “haughty” is an insult, and “proud” is more neutral. You can safely write that winning the contest made you “proud,” but if you say that the gold medal made you “haughty,” you’re criticizing yourself. Moral of the story: When you write the college admission essay, don’t plop words from a list into your sentences. Chances are you’ll use the words improperly. Even if the words are in the right spot, you’ll come across unnaturally.

At the sound of the tone my essay will self-destruct: Machine Language

Machine language (not the stuff that computer programmers learn, but the words that voice-mail systems spit out) is as stiff as your back after 15 sets of tennis. Don’t write your essay in machine language, unless you want the admissions committee to appreciate your robotic qualities. Some examples, with corrections:

Stiff Sentence: It is now my understanding that the event that took place in my early childhood — the rattlesnake’s entrance into my crib — played a formidable role in shaping my eventual character.

Better Sentence: The rattlesnake slithered into my crib and changed my entire life.