There are five good ways to conclude a college admission essay: tying up loose ends, creating a wider context, completing the experience, forging the last link in a chain of logic, and making a strong impression. The following is an example of an essay conclusion tht makes a strong impression.
Even before entering the dimly lit auditorium, I had anticipated their reticence. After all, what else could I have expected from my fellow students, who were still walking through the halls quiet as ghosts. Two weeks had passed since my first attempt to foster discussion among the entire student body. As Student Body President (SBP), I had organized a school-wide seminar assembly, concerning different aspects of the September eleventh tragedies. The thirteen workshops and presentations focused on topics ranging from various interpretations of the Koran and the different sects of Islam to the media's role during wartime, and the assembly was a huge success according to my teachers and friends.
But this wasn't a healing process that could be completed in one step. Now here I was in the final minutes of my fifth assembly, and, judging by the silence in the vast room, I felt reluctant to go ahead with my plans to facilitate an open microphone discussion. Something about not thinking the students will respond. Maybe, I thought for a moment, it was too soon to try to make sense of what had happened; maybe I should call it off. Inside, though, I was certain that if we could just share our feelings with one another, begin to understand that each of us was going through something totally unique, and yet somehow similar, we could then begin to re-knit the precious social fabric that existed in the school community: a sort of blanket that had never once failed to give me solace through rough times.
In more ordinary and optimistic periods, this community spirit had inspired me to run for SBP in the first place. It had inspired me to give something back. As I stood there at the podium, I felt as though I were engaged in a staring contest with 600 upperschoolers, making me realize that no other student body president who came before me had ever had to deal with an issue as difficult as the one we all now faced together. "Come on guys, hasn't anyone got something to say, something to share?" I thought about how, in the course of one tragic September morning, my role as Student Body President had changed radically. I had long since assured myself that if I harnessed what made me unique, my sense of humor, my creativity, the fact that I was approachable, I would then be more likely to influence my community better than any adult could. I would then be able to give that "something" back. I knew I wanted to re-define the role of the Student Body President, but I had never imagined I would encounter a situation such as this one, and have to unite and comfort the student body in the midst of such a horrible tragedy. As uncertain about what to say or think as any one of my peers, I knew that September eleventh had made me reevaluate what it meant to be creative, honest, and open, what it really meant to be a leader in my community.
"Until September eleventh," I began softly, "we were on track to be a generation- the generation- that wouldn't know war, and now that it's upon us, we're not prepared to face it. Reality, for us, has become something skewed by the evening news, showing us footage that resembles Hollywood movies and bad dreams more than anything we've ever seen in real life." Scanning the audience, I saw a hand go up. I continued. "So we sit here, feeling helpless, because we think no one will even listen to us. But we can listen to each other; this is our chance to be heard. I think it's a chance we shouldn't pass up." There was another hand, and another. With a deep sense of pride and excitement, I took a deep breath and asked once more, "Does anyone have something to say?"
Apparently, quite a few people did.
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