College Admission Essays: The Top Ten Reasons Why Lists Are a Bad Idea

In a highly unscientific survey, I’ve determined that about 10 percent of all essay writers come up with this (very bad) idea: “Instead of an essay, I’ll write a list!” Uh oh. If such a possibility occurs to you, drop it immediately. Why? To explain, I’ll borrow a technique from a late-night talk show, David Letterman’s “Top Ten List.”

1. They remind the reader of the undone “to-do” list hanging on the refrigerator.
2. They waste a lot of space on a crowded application blank.
3. Because they contain short, cryptic statements, lists tend to be much more understandable to the writer than to the reader.
4. They make the reader think of late-night television shows, which the counselor watched instead of going to sleep at a decent hour in order to arrive at work without an intense desire for a nap, even though it’s only 9:30 a.m.
5. A list gives the admissions committee the impression that you watch entirely too much television, including the late night talk shows that you should reject in favor of going to sleep at a decent hour in order to arrive at school without an intense desire for a nap, even though it’s only 9:30 a.m.
6. It’s hard to create the ten decent punch lines for one joke that a good list requires.
7. You can’t show off your talent for description in a list.
8. Hardly anyone reads an entire list! Most people skip to the bottom, where they think the good stuff is.
9. With a list, especially one in reverse “count-down” order, you come across as a weak clone of a television personality.
10. The university wants to read your essay in order to judge your ability to write. Very few college or graduate school assignments may be fulfilled with a list.

Bottom line: Write an essay in paragraph form, not a list.