College Admission Essays: Setting Up a Transition

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When you set up the outline for the essay, you placed each idea in its spot for a reason. If the design of your essay is effective, the ideas flow logically from one to another. Now that you’re writing, you should help the reader “go with the flow” by providing transitions. Transitions are like little hands that reach between paragraphs for a good, strong clasp. Sometimes the transitions are repeated ideas — one at the end of a paragraph and the other at the beginning of the next paragraph. Often the transitions are words that illustrate the logical connection, such as “on the other hand,” “afterwards,” “because,” and so on.

Repetitive transitions

Here is a real student essay by a young man who is destined to win the Nobel Prize for Robotics, if such a prize is ever given. His little metallic creations flipped, scuttled, and slithered across my classroom floor one year. This essay about his “disaster bot” provides good examples of repetitive transitions. (To help you identify these transitions, I underlined them. Don’t underline anything in your application essay.) Notice that paragraph one ends with the idea of perfection. Paragraph two begins with a statement about perfection. Similarly, paragraph two ends with a statement about disappointment, and the first sentence of paragraph three mentions “disillusioned,” “confusion,” and “panic” — all ingredients of disappointment. The advantage of a repetitive transition is that the reader can easily grasp the links between paragraphs. However, a repetitive transition does carry one important risk. If you repeat too many words or reuse the same terms, your reader may wander off mentally, sure that the meaning you’re trying to impart has already been received. If you use a repetitive transition, take care to keep the repetitions short, and vary the wording as much as you can.

Word or phrase transitions

None of the word or phrase transitions are strange terms that you have to look up in the dictionary. The fact that these terms are so easily identifiable tells you that they’re quite common. Indeed, you probably insert them into your writing without a second thought. Here are the word or phrase transitions most likely to be useful in a college admission essay, along with sample sentences.

Relationship: additional idea

Transitions: also, moreover, in addition to, besides, furthermore, likewise, not the only, not only

Sample Sentence: In addition to my work on the student council, I also initiated a coup and took over the school board. (links [LB3]�a section about the student council to a section about becoming czar of the Community Educational Oversight Committee)

Sample Sentence: Besides getting an A+ in recess, I also won the Most Likely to Be Arrested Before Age 30 award given by local merchants. (links two paragraphs about slacker behavior)

Relationship: contrasting idea

Transitions: on the other hand, in contrast to, however, despite, in spite of, nevertheless, nonetheless, otherwise