College Admission Essays: Selecting Strong Verbs and Nouns

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Don’t worry; despite the title, this section is short on grammar and heavy on writing tips. I supply only two definitions, one for each section.

Verbs

Verbs are the words in the sentence that express action or state of being, as in the following:

Carmeline swished the damp mop over Engelbrot’s bald head. (swished = verb)

Engelbrot has been upset ever since that incident. (has been = verb)

Now that the term is clear, I’ll get to the point: verbs are the most important words in your vocabulary. You want the souped-up, strong-as-a-weightlifter verbs, not the boring, found-on-every-corner words. Check out this example:

Tourmaline went to the gem store.

Ho hum. “Went.” There’s a great verb. Haven’t seen that one since two whole seconds ago! Plus, “went” is so general that it tells me practically nothing, just that Tourmaline was somewhere other than the gem store, and now she’s not. How about these alternatives?

Tourmaline ambled to the gem store.

Tourmaline strode to the gem store.

Tourmaline slithered to the gem store.

Tourmaline boogied to the gem store.

I don’t know which of these sentences is “right,” because I don’t know how Tourmaline in fact got to the gem store. For all I know, the best possible sentence is “Tourmaline drove to the gem store in her very own Lamborghini.” But I can declare confidently that any of the alternate sentences is more specific than the original, and specific is good. General is bad. In general, that is.

Here’s another example:

Tourmaline said that she would go.

“Said,” in all its variations (“says,” “say,” “will say,” and so on) is the first runner-up of the All-Time Boring Verb Contest. (Who won? I’ll tell you in a minute.) You can get so much more mileage out of other words for verbal self-expression, such as these:

Tourmaline declared that she would go.

Tourmaline conceded that she would go.

Tourmaline whispered that she would go.

Tourmaline bellowed that she would go.

Now for the winners of the All-Time Boring Verb Contest. Yes, two verbs tie for the trophy: “be” and “have.” Okay, I know you need these verbs. They play a part in tons of sentences and often cannot be replaced. But sometimes you can dump them in favor of much more interesting choices. Compare these two passages, in which the verbs are italicized:

The chair is metal and has curved legs. The seat is wood, and so is the back, which is shaped to support the spine.

Three-feet tall metal legs curve up from the floor. The wooden seat and back mirror and support the spine.

The verbs in the second passage are more interesting. Also, you saved five words and said the same thing, a real plus in the admission essay, because you’re working with a word limit and tired readers.

Bottom line: As you work on the rough draft of your essay, pay special attention to the verbs. Think of the verbs as the tires on a truck that carry your meaning to the reader. Go for the best tires you can afford; in the verb world, best means most specific.