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Coping Strategies for Working with Difficult Family Members

by T.E. Smith|B.C. Gartin|N.L. Murdick|A. Hilton
Source: Pearson Allyn Bacon Prentice Hall
Topics: Middle Years (5-9), Communicating With Children of All Ages, more...

In some interpersonal situations such as during meetings and conversations between family members or school personnel, it is not unusual for individuals to display unproductive behaviors. These behaviors are often used in an effort to control or direct the behavior of others and strategies will need to be developed to defuse such situations. The table below provides a list of strategies for working with difficult communicative behaviors.  

Behavior Coping Strategy
Aggressive
  • Ask the person if they know what they are doing.
  • Present your ideas with force.
  • Refuse to argue.
  • Be friendly.
Blocking
  • Seek support from other group members.
  • Be directive.
Competing
  • Prevent domination by soliciting others' opinions
  • Provide recognition of good ideas.
Complaining
  • Ask for them to write down the facts.
  • Move rapidly to problem solving.
  • Do not agree with them.
Explosive
  • Attempt to reduce fears and tensions.
  • Help them regain self-control.
  • Talk with them separately in a monitored environment.
Indecisive
  • Listen and acknowledge their fears.
  • Make sure they understand the importance of proposals and actions.
  • Encourage and support decision making and follow-through.
Kidding/Joking
  • Ignore joking.
  • Encourage joking as a release of tension.
  • Focus on the problem seriously.
Knowing It All
  • Be sure your facts are correct.
  • Use questions to express disagreement.
Pleading
  • Use questions to direct the person away from his or her topic.
  • Use and acknowledge their knowledge on this subject.
Withdrawing/Silent
  • Use open-ended questions.
  • Use summaries of what they do say.
Monopolization
  • Encourage important information sharing.
  • Draw others into the conversation.

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