Developing and Strengthening Executive Function

Organized Children Can Create Predictable Stories

Teachers and parents can create play situations that require children to practice sequencing ideas, including planning and predicting what comes next in play. This type of play between two or more children can help them trust their own social skills. They’ll have more self-confidence when they face new situations and feel organized and know what to do.

Sometimes children organize their play automatically and know what to do. In this next example, Ann needs to make suggestions to keep the play organized and moving forward:

ANN: So, Simon, tell me what are you making here.

SIMON: I’m making a launching boat.

ANN: This is a launch boat, and what’s this here?

SIMON: It’s a slide for cars.

ANN: So is this going to be a ramp for cars? Is this part of yours, Simon?

CAMERON: It’s for Roy’s cars.

ANN: Oh, it’s for Roy’s cars. Barry, what are you making?

BARRY: I’m on the lobster boat too.

ANN: Is it part of Simon’s boat?

BARRY: Yes.

SIMON: Actually I’m the captain.

ANN: Oh you are? How did you guys decide who was captain?

BARRY: We didn’t. Actually we need two captains.

ANN: Oh, you’re going to have two captains. Is that okay with you, Simon?

SIMON: Yeah. We need two captains.

ANN: That’s great. So that’s a paddle for the lobster boat?

SIMON: This is gas, right?

BARRY: Yeah.

SIMON: It’s a gas paddle, right?

CAMERON: You have to get the paddle and get off the trap, right?

ANN: Oh, you guys have really made a plan. This is a very cool boat.

SIMON: Do you know what that’s for, Ann?

ANN: What?

SIMON: A remote control that makes the boat go forward and backward.

ANN: Oh, that’s really cool. You figured it out together, huh?

SIMON: Yep, we did. These could go forward.

Parents and teachers can reinforce positive planning when children plan together. The first step is to engage with your child and his friends while they play. If you compliment them on their work, the children will understand that their story or creation is important. Make clear statements directly to the children such as, “Oh, you really made a plan!” or, “You figured it out together!” which gives them the message that they are on track and working together through play.

It’s equally important to name the objects they are building and use your emotional response to praise them for constructing together. They will continue their story theme if they receive positive feedback from an adult.

Organized Children Can Regulate Their Emotions

Disorganized children with poor working memory are likely to have problems regulating their emotions as well as their behavior. Adults need to help them recognize when they are becoming disorganized and then help their child get back on track. Even preschoolers can learn to monitor their own emotions.

Ann was working with two three year olds in a preschool classroom. Both girls were crying and wanted to take charge of the dolls in the house corner. They were pulling the dolls and throwing the clothes at each other, making angry faces and waving their arms. Ann suggested that they might want to have a birthday party for the dolls. Both girls immediately ran to the cabinet to search for the pretend birthday cake.

One child said, “I want to have the cake. I’m baking it!” The other screamed, “No! It’s my cake!”

Ann worked with the girls to focus on their story, allowing them to express their emotions. One child told Ann, “Oh, I know I’m so angry, I can’t bake anything!” The other child said, “Yep. We are mad!” They recognized the anger that was getting in the way of their actions in play and keeping them disorganized.

Ann then asked if each child could listen to the other’s emotions and ideas. It worked. The girls told each other how they felt and then decided to negotiate over the roles. They agreed that they wanted to make a birthday party, but they had to be organized to do this task, and they had to control their emotions. By talking and listening to each other, both calmed down. Then they began to plan, and they eventually got to sing “Happy Birthday” to each other.

Organized Children Can Reason Logically

Children with organization problems often have difficulty using language. They may use the correct words but put them in the wrong order. Or they may need help searching for a better way to express their thoughts in a clear, logical way.

Children who have a hard time formulating a sentence can appear frustrated or even aggressive. A child who can’t express his ideas by placing the right words in order in a sentence may push or shove or use some other physical gesture to get his point across. The other children can misperceive such gestures and start a physical fight.

Teachers and parents need to help frustrated children by rephrasing an incorrect sentence to make it clear and less complicated. If the child imitates the new sentence exactly as you said it, he is probably relieved and happy to have the words that express his emotions or ideas.

Successful Children Benefit from Organized Play Dates

It’s not enough to just invite preschoolers and their parents to get together and then have the adults sit on a park bench or in the kitchen while the children entertain themselves. The most effective and successful play dates occur when the children are engaged with each other, not just in parallel play. In order to create an environment where children thrive during play, you must provide a plan that includes ways to keep the children organized and self-regulated.

Play dates are critical if you have chosen to home-school your preschooler. Not only will you have to organize the structure of her day, you will also be responsible for organizing her overall play, out- side excursions, and work time. Make sure the day is filled with self- regulation activities, such as step-by-step outlines, lists, or schedules. Introduce difficult material as part of play dates and in small, sequential steps, using both auditory and visual tools. Keep routines simple, and repeat them throughout the day, especially during play.

To prepare for a play date, choose two or three activities in advance that the children will like. Once the friend arrives, clearly explain the activities to the children. It may help to prepare a physical list of these activities. Help the children shift tasks by showing them the list as you set up each new task.

You may need to play with the children to get them started. Keep the toys organized, and if too many objects distract them, remove some. You will know when there are too many toys around if the children are unable to stay on task.

A child who can’t focus on a task during play or becomes frustrated when something changes in the play theme is demonstrating that he needs more parental support during play dates. When this happens, join your child to add structure and help him move through the steps of the play theme. Stay at his eye level, and repeat what he is saying so that it is clear that you understand the story theme. Then use simple language to rephrase what the children are saying and positively rein- force their efforts. This help will guide the play and keep the tasks within the play clear. The children will become calmer with structure, when they have clear tasks set up for them to accomplish. For example, one task could be to hold a particular action figure and move it toward another child’s character.

Even for older preschoolers, play dates should last no more than two hours. At the end of the play date, provide your child with the words he needs to say goodbye. Later you can revisit your original checklist of activities with your child. Use it to go over what worked and what didn’t so that he can check off his accomplishments on the original task list.