Developmental Trends: Sense of Self at Different Age Levels

Diversity:

• The quality of child-caregiver relationships influences infants’ beliefs that they are worthy of love.
• Infants’ temperaments (e.g., whether they are irritable or easily comforted) affect some caregivers’ ability and desire to give affection and care.

Implications:

• Communicate affection by cuddling and talking to infants and by attending to their physical needs in a timely and consistent manner.
• Talk with infants and toddlers about their bodily features and possessions (“Where’s your nose?” “Here’s your teddy bear!”).

Early Childhood (2–6)

What You Might Observe:

• Frequent use of I, me, and mine, especially at ages 2 and 3
• Emergence of an autobiographical self (beginning at age 3 or 4)
• Concrete self-descriptions (e.g., “I’m a boy,” “I’m pretty”)
• Overconfidence about what tasks can be accomplished

Diversity:

• Children whom others treat affectionately tend to develop a positive sense of self. Those who are rejected, ridiculed, or ignored have a harder time seeing themselves in positive terms.
• Some children gain an emerging awareness that they belong to a particular racial or ethnic group (by age 5).

Implications:

• Acknowledge children’s possessions, but encourage sharing.
• Engage children in joint retellings of recent events.
• Don’t disparage children’s lofty ambitions (“I’m going to be President!”), but focus their efforts on accomplishable short-term goals.

Middle Childhood (6–10)

What You Might Observe:

• Increasing discrimination among various aspects of oneself (e.g., among academic performance, athletic ability, and likability)
• Increasing tendency to base sense of self on how one’s own performance compares with that of peers
• Increasing internalization of others’ standards for performance (continues into adolescence)
• Generally good self-esteem in most children

Diversity:

• Different children place greater or lesser importance on various domains (e.g., on academic performance vs. athletic prowess) in deriving their overall sense of self-worth.
• In middle childhood, girls begin to evaluate their physical appearance less favorably than boys do.

Implications:

• Praise children for their talents and accomplishments in numerous areas (e.g., in physical activities, social relationships, and specific academic subjects).
• Help children find arenas in which they can be especially successful.
• Teach hygiene and personal grooming habits that enhance children’s physical attractiveness.

Early Adolescence (10–14)

What You Might Observe:

• Increasing tendency to define oneself in terms of abstract rather than concrete characteristics
• Possible drop in self-esteem after the transition to middle school or junior high
• Heightened sensitivity to what others think of oneself (imaginary audience), leading to a preoccupation with physical appearance
• Belief in oneself as overly unique (personal fable), leading to a sense of invulnerability and increased risk taking

Diversity:

• Drops in self-esteem, when sizable and not followed by a rebound, can signal a serious problem.
• On average, youngsters increasingly base their self-perceived strengths on gender stereotypes (e.g., boys see themselves as good in math, girls see themselves as good in reading) even when actual achievement levels are similar.
• Members of ethnic minority groups vary in the extent to which their ethnic status plays a role in their identity.

Implications:

• When students are making the transition to middle school or junior high, be especially supportive and optimistic about their potential for success.
• Be patient when adolescents show exceptional self-consciousness; give them strategies for presenting themselves well to others.
• Show no tolerance for risk-taking behaviors that put youngsters’ health and well-being in danger.

Late Adolescence (14–18)

What You Might Observe:

• Decrease in the self-consciousness evident in early adolescence
• Continuing risk-taking behavior, especially in males
• Reflection about identity issues: Who am I? What do I believe? What course should my life take?
• Reconciliation of many apparent contradictions in oneself

Diversity:

• Adolescents whose sense of self-worth continues to depend heavily on others’ behaviors and opinions (those who have contingent self-worth) are more susceptible to mood swings and peer pressure.
• Some adolescents willingly accept the professional goals and ideologies that their parents offer. Others engage in more soul-searching and exploration as they strive to develop their identity.

Implications:

• Provide opportunities for adolescents to explore diverse belief systems and try on a variety of occupational “hats.”
• When discussing adverse consequences of risky behaviors, present the facts but don’t make teens so anxious or upset that they can’t effectively remember the information (i.e., avoid scare tactics).
• Be on the lookout for teens whose self-worth seems especially dependent on peers’ opinions; help them discover areas of talent that can contribute to a more stable sense of self-worth.