Developmental Trends: Social Cognition and Interpersonal Skills at Different Age Levels

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Infancy (Birth–2)

What You Might Observe:

• Emerging awareness that other people have desires, goals, and intentions different from one’s own
• Increasing engagement with other infants (e.g., watching and touching them, vocalizing, smiling at them, imitating them)
• Appearance of simple prosocial behaviors (e.g., offering a teddy bear to a crying child) in the second year
• Anger at caregivers who frustrate efforts toward desired goals
• Conflicts with peers about toys and other desired objects

Diversity:

• Infants who have frequent contact with age-mates (e.g., in group child care) tend to be more sociable.
• Infants may be more inclined to show prosocial behaviors when caregivers model these behaviors.
• Some children have “difficult” temperaments; they may be especially contrary in the second year, biting others or exhibiting frequent temper tantrums.

Implications:

• Use words such as like, want, and think regularly in descriptions of yourself and children.
• Allow infants to interact with one another under your guidance and protection.
• Verbalize expressions of empathy and sympathy within earshot of other children.
• Praise prosocial behaviors.
• Set up the environment to reduce frustration and aggression; for instance, provide duplicates of favorite toys, and create separate areas for quiet play and active movement.
• Explain to aggressive toddlers that some actions are unacceptable, and impose appropriate consequences (e.g., by placing a child in a short time-out).

Early Childhood (2–6)

What You Might Observe:

• Increasing use of “feeling” and “thinking” words (e.g., want, sad, know)
• Growing realization that the mind does not always represent events accurately (e.g., that a person may have a false belief)
• Growing ability to take others’ perspectives, with some signs of empathy for people in distress
• Increasing sharing and coordination of play activities (e.g., sociodramatic play)
• Attempts to comfort people in distress, especially those whom children know well; comforting strategies not always effective
• Some aggressive struggles with peers about possessions; increasing ability to inhibit aggressive impulses

Diversity:

• Children whose parents talk frequently about thoughts and feelings tend to have a more advanced theory of mind.
• Children with certain cognitive impairments (e.g., Asperger syndrome) and those with reduced exposure to language as a result of hearing impairments tend to have a more limited theory of mind.
• Children are more apt to behave prosocially if they are consistently reinforced for such behavior.
• On average, boys are more physically aggressive than girls.

Implications:

• Talk often about various people’s thoughts, feelings, perspectives, and needs.
• Recognize that selfish and territorial behaviors are common in early childhood.
• Model sympathetic responses; explain what you are doing and why you are doing it.
• Encourage children to give one another comfort when they can.
• Praise any gentle, controlled, and constructive responses to frustration or provocation.
• Comfort the victims of aggression, and administer appropriate consequences for the perpetrators. Explain why aggressive behavior cannot be tolerated.

Middle Childhood (6–10)

What You Might Observe:

• Recognition that people’s actions do not always reflect their true thoughts and feelings
• Growing realization that other people interpret (rather than simply remember) their experiences
• Decrease in rigid stereotypes of particular groups of people (for most children)
• Growing repertoire of conflict-resolution skills
• Increasing empathy for unknown individuals who are suffering or needy
• Increasing desire to help others as an objective in and of itself
• Decrease in overt physical aggression, but with an increase in relational aggression and more covert antisocial behaviors (e.g., lying, stealing)

Diversity:

• Children with certain disabilities (e.g., ADHD, autism, mental retardation) are more apt to have difficulty making accurate inferences about people’s motives and intentions.
• Children whose families or communities consistently promote unflattering images of particular groups may continue to have strong prejudices.
• Children whose parents value prosocial behavior are more likely to value it as well and to have genuine concern for others.
• Some children consistently misinterpret peers’ thoughts and motives (e.g., by interpreting accidents as deliberate attempts to cause harm).
• Some children become increasingly aggressive in the elementary grades.
• Some children are bullies who regularly victimize vulnerable children (e.g., those without friends or those with disabilities).

Implications:

• Assist children in their attempts to resolve interpersonal conflicts by asking them to consider one another’s perspectives and to develop a solution that addresses everyone’s needs.
• Draw attention to a comforted child’s relief when another child helps (“Look how much better Sally feels now that you’ve apologized for hurting her feelings”).
• Do not tolerate physical aggression or bullying. Make sure children understand rules for behavior, and follow through with appropriate consequences when children are aggressive.
• Be on the lookout for children who seem to be frequent victims of others’ aggression; help them form productive relationships with peers.

Early Adolescence (10–14)

What You Might Observe:

• Recognition that people may have multiple and possibly conflicting feelings and motives
• Increasing sensitivity to body language and other nonverbal cues
• Emerging ability to think recursively about one’s own and others’ thoughts
• Decline in physical aggression
• Frequent teasing and taunting of peers; emergence of sexual harassment

Diversity:

• Self-disclosure is more common in girls than in boys.
• Beginning at puberty, increased testosterone levels in boys contribute to their more aggressive tendencies.
• Some adolescents with social-emotional problems (e.g., those with conduct disorders) show deficits in empathy for others.
• Bullying behavior in some youngsters may temporarily increase after the transition to middle school or junior high.

Implications:

• Conduct discussions that require adolescents to look at controversial issues from multiple perspectives.
• Do not tolerate ethnic jokes or other remarks that show prejudice toward a particular group.
• Communicate that giving, sharing, and caring for others should be high priorities.
• Keep a watchful eye on students’ between-class and after-school activities; make it clear that physical aggression is not acceptable on school grounds.

Late Adolescence (14–18)

What You Might Observe:

• Recognition that people are products of their environment and that past events and present circumstances influence personality and behavior
• Use of peer group as a forum for self-exploration and self-understanding
• Increasing awareness that members of any single category of people (e.g., women, people with disabilities) can be very different from one another
• For many, less motivation to engage in aggressive behavior, often as a result of forming more intimate and rewarding relationships with others

Diversity:

• Some high school students are exceptionally committed to making the world a better place (e.g., they may be active in Amnesty International, a group committed to preserving human rights around the world).
• On average, youngsters who live in poor, violent neighborhoods are more apt to become aggressive.
• Violence-prone adolescents often believe that hitting another person is reasonable retribution for unjust actions.
• Substance abuse and sexual activity increase the probability of aggression.

Implications:

• Talk about other people’s complex (and sometimes conflicting) motives, perhaps while discussing contemporary issues, historical events, or works of fiction.
• Encourage community service work so as to engender a commitment to helping others. Ask adolescents to reflect on their experiences through group discussions or written essays.
• Assign autobiographies and other readings that depict individuals who have actively worked for the greater good of society.
• Enforce prohibitions against bringing weapons to school and other settings.