Families are an amazingly complicated phenomenon to study. So-called normal families display a variety of intricate interactions, both positive and negative. Most of us have strong reactions to and memories about our families. We can recall vividly good as well as bad times in our families. And it is not uncommon to receive very different interpretations of family dynamics from different members of the same family. Families that contain a member with learning disabilities are even more complicated. Just the extra time required to parent a child with learning disabilities can alter how parents and siblings interact with the child who has learning disabilities as well as with nondisabled family members.
Family Adjustment
For many years, the customary way of viewing parental reactions was to consider them in terms of stage theory—the notion that parents, on learning that their child has a disability, go through a set sequence of emotional reactions over a period of time. Much of the impetus for a stage theory approach comes from work done on reactions people have to the death of a loved one. A typical sequence of reactions, based on interviews of parents of infants with serious physical disabilities, is shock and disruption, denial, sadness, anxiety and fear, anger, and adaptation (Drotar, Baskiewicz, Irvin, Kennell, & Klaus, 1975). Although such a theoretical framework has been more popular when considering children with more serious disabilities, some professionals have used this model in working with parents of children with learning disabilities.
More recently, many researchers have rejected the idea of a fixed sequence of stages through which all parents of students with disabilities pass (Hammitte & Nelson, 2001). Some parents do not experience some of these stages; of those who do, not all experience them in the same order (Friend & Cook, 2003). Further, "within the same family, some members may have strong coping capabilities and others may need much more support because their own capabilities have not yet been developed fully" (Turnbull & Turnbull, 2001, p. 99).
Parental Guilt
Of the many emotions parents feel when they first learn that their child has a disability, perhaps the most common is guilt. This reaction may occur because the causes of most disabilities are unknown. Some parents respond to this uncertainty about cause by blaming themselves for their child's disability.
Results of familiality studies and heritability studies indicate that learning disabilities can be inherited. There are, however, no quick and easy tests to determine that a child has inherited a learning disability from one or both parents. For some parents, the possibility that their child's learning disability may have been inherited can arouse feelings of guilt; for others, a genetic or biological explanation may help alleviate guilt and even help explain some of their own problems.
Parental Stress
Raising any child can be stressful. Although helping children to negotiate the many pitfalls of childhood, adolescence, and even adulthood can be very rewarding, the responsibility for the well-being of a child in a society that is undergoing as many changes as ours can be overwhelming. Influences on children of the media, violence, and drugs, to mention a few, make the responsibilities of being a parent complex and difficult.
There is abundant evidence that being the parent of a child with learning disabilities increases the chances of experiencing stress (Dyson, 1996; Green, 1992; Lardieri, Blacher, & Swanson, 2000; Margalit & Almougy, 1991; Margalit, Raviv, & Ankonina, 1992). Although the deficits of learning disabilities are often not as conspicuous as those of children with physical or psychological disabilities, the very fact that students with learning disabilities do function within or close to the mainstream may create some very difficult decisions for parents and students, especially during adolescence. In particular, parents of adolescents with learning disabilities are likely to have difficulty deciding how much freedom and independence to allow their children (Morrison & Zetlin, 1992). For example, deciding when the child is ready to assume the responsibility of driving a car is often more difficult for parents of children with learning disabilities.
Another complicating factor is that many parents of children with learning disabilities exhibit external attributions; that is, they view themselves as being powerless to help their children cope with their problems (Green, 1992). How much their attributions are caused by their children's problems, or vice versa, is open to speculation, but the end result is that some of these parents either become dependent and give up trying to direct their children's lives or become overly rigid and controlling (Margalit & Almougy, 1991; Margalit et al., 1992; Michaels & Lewandowski, 1990).
Adding to the plight of some children with learning disabilities and their families is a higher prevalence of family instability and disruption. Researchers have found that children with learning disabilities are more likely than those without such disabilities to experience parental divorce, change of schools, or parental or sibling death or illness (Lorsbach & Frymier, 1992). There is speculation about whether such factors are causal. That is, does a child with a learning disability make the family more susceptible to some of these disruptions, or do some of these traumas contribute to the child's learning disability? Regardless of whether there is a causal connection and in which direction it is manifest, family instability makes it difficult for some families to cope with a child who has a learning disability.
Sibling Reactions
Research on whether siblings of children with learning disabilities experience more problems in adjustment is mixed. Some siblings have trouble adjusting, some adjust well, and some report that they actually benefit from the experience (Dyson, 1996; Seligman & Darling, 1989; Senapati & Hayes, 1988). Others experience the same positive and negative dynamics found in all sibling relationships (Lardieri et al., 2000), as Jamal's sister indicates:
Jamal has a learning disability because he has trouble reading. Sometimes, he needs contracts and special rewards, but that doesn't bother me. To me, he's just my brother, Jamal. Sometimes, I like him, and sometimes, I don't. We can get along and play games, and I usually like looking out for him since I'm older. Other times, I think he's annoying and I want him to leave me alone.
-Patricia Smith, Jamal's sister
Generally speaking, however, brothers and sisters of children with disabilities are at a greater risk of having problems in their relationships with their siblings than are siblings of children without disabilities. Resentment can build, for example, because the child with a learning disability receives more attention from parents. It is often difficult for parents to provide an equal amount of care and attention to the child with a learning disability and to the other children in the family. Furthermore, some of the same social problems children with learning disabilities have with their peers are likely to play a role in interactions with siblings. Poor impulse control, difficulties in reading social cues, and so forth can make for volatile sibling relationships.
Family Reaction
Although a number of problems can confront families of children with learning disabilities, the majority of families adapt very well. Some parents experience having a child with a disability as actually having some positive benefits. They say they have become more concerned about social issues and more tolerant of differences in other people. Some report that their families and marriages have been brought closer together because of their child's disability; they think that the common purpose of rallying behind their child has resulted in greater family cohesiveness. Although there is no definitive research on this, anecdotal evidence suggests that many special education teachers chose their profession because they had a sibling with a disability.
Professionals working with children with learning disabilities and their families must keep in mind that there is no universal set of reactions experienced by these families. Most families adjust well, some experience minor difficulties, and a few experience enough turmoil and stress to be considered dysfunctional.
Family Values and Attitudes toward Learning
Parents and families play a significant role in determining the social, intellectual, and physical well-being of their children. Parents can exert influence on their children through interactions with them as well as through attitudes. For example, parents can challenge their children intellectually and expose them to a variety of learning experiences, or they can subtly discourage their intellectual development through their attitudes toward school and learning.
A good example of how important families are to the academic achievement of their children is that of the Southeast Asian boat children who have immigrated to the United States. Despite severe economic disadvantages, many of these children do exceedingly well in school. In particular, Indochinese families that maintain their traditional values, which include an emphasis on achievement and learning, outperform their American peers of the same economic status. However, if Indochinese families allow their children to become acculturated to certain American values (e.g., pursuing material possessions and entertainment), the achievement of these children is lower, being closer to that of their American peers (Caplan, Choy, & Whitmore, 1992).
Regardless of the cultural group to which one belongs, children whose parents value education are at an advantage. And for the child with learning disabilities, it is even more important that the family instill a positive attitude toward learning and school.
Parents and Homework
Ask parents of children with learning disabilities what their greatest areas of concern regarding schooling for their children are, and they are very likely to put homework at the top of the list. Ask teachers whether this concern is valid, and they are very likely to concur. Several researchers have documented that parents and teachers view homework as a major stumbling block for students with learning disabilities (Bryan, Nelson, & Mathur, 1995; Bryan & Sullivan-Burstein, 1997; Epstein, Munk, Bursuck, Pol1oway, & Jayanthi, 1999). Homework can cause a great deal of stress in families of these students, as is revealed in this parent's statement: "Homework has dominated and ruined our lives for the past eight years" (Baumgartner, Bryan, Donahue, & Nelson, 1993, p. 182). Unfortunately, this negative perception of homework starts in the early primary grades (Bryan et al., 1995).
Given that students with learning disabilities have academic problems, they understandably will have difficulties with homework. Their cognitive and metacognitive difficulties, such as poor memory and organizational skills, can cause them problems with homework. For example, these students are more likely than students without learning disabilities to forget to bring their homework home or to take their completed homework to school, and they are more likely to lose their homework. In sum, there are few aspects of homework that do not pose major problems for students with learning disabilities.
What Teachers Can Do
To combat difficulties associated with completing homework,
students with LD need to learn skills related to listening for and accurately recording an assignment, planning how much time should be scheduled to complete it and when to complete it, identifying what materials are needed and taking them home, setting attainable goals related to the homework, recruiting help when needed, monitoring where they are with regard to task completion, and rewarding themselves for sticking to the plan and completing the task. (Hughes, Ruhl, Schumaker, & Deschler, 2002, p. 2)
One promising means for accomplishing this is teaching assignment-completion strategies such as the PROJECT Strategy, which has been taught to middle-school students with learning disabilities.
First, students prepare their forms by noting events (e.g., tests, project due dates, athletic games/events, holidays, birthdays) on monthly calendars and, then, on a weekly study schedule, so time can be planned accordingly. Second, students record assignments on sheets, and ask questions about any confusing elements of the assignment. Third, students organize their day's assignments. Fourth, students "jump to it" to combat task avoidance. Fifth, students engage in the work, noting problems and recruiting help as needed. Sixth, students check and evaluate the quality of their work. Finally, students make arrangements (e.g., place the work in a backpack by the door) for turning in the assignment (Hughes et al., 2002).
In addition to teaching assignment-completion strategies, there are at least four ways that teachers can increase the chances of making homework a successful experience for students with learning disabilities. First, teachers, especially in elementary school, should not assign homework that emphasizes the acquisition of new information (Cooper, 1989). In the case of students with learning disabilities, it is probably even more important that the homework not require students to perform skills they have not already been taught in school. Instead, the homework should focus on proficiency and maintenance of skills already within the student's repertoire (Polloway, Foley, & Epstein, 1992).
Second, teachers need to be careful that students with learning disabilities understand their assignments. Because these students have problems listening and copying directions accurately, they often misunderstand assignments or forget them. Teachers should therefore be explicit in their assignments. Some suggestions for making sure students understand their assignments are (l) encourage students to ask questions, (2) specify resources and how much help they can get, (3) choose students to review the directions for the class, and (4) allow students to begin homework in class under the teacher's guidance (Salend & Schliff, 1989; Sawyer, Nelson, Jayanthi, Bursuck, & Epstein, 1996).
Third, teachers should set up a system whereby they can efficiently monitor students' homework. One popular method is for each student to have an assignment book wherein (l) the teacher initials the assignment before the student leaves school to make sure the information was written down correctly, (2) the parent signs the assignment after the student has completed it, and (3) the teacher checks it the next day at the start of class (Epstein, Polloway, Foley, & Patton, 1993). Teachers should also provide positive consequences for homework completion (Hughes et al., 2002).
Finally, some research suggests that involving parents in the homework process can be beneficial (Rosenberg, 1989). How much involvement is helpful will vary with the particular parents. It is a good idea, however, that teachers at least make parents aware of homework policies and seek their feedback regarding their views on homework. Communicating with parents about homework is important, because as the following quote suggests, parents are often frustrated by what they perceive to be a lack of sympathy for their plight: "Sure, I'd like to get involved, but when? There's just not enough time. I can't come home to conferences during school hours! And then the teacher makes me feel like a bad parent" (Baumgartner etal.,1993, p.182).
What Parents Can Do
By definition, homework is done primarily at home; therefore, it is logical that parents can be influential in reducing homework problems. In addition to contingencies that most parents use with their children regarding homework (e.g., allowing the child a privilege or special reward—TV, visits with friends, etc.—if homework is finished), parents of students with learning disabilities also need to be particularly attentive to organizational factors. As already noted, it is not just academic work that may be difficult for many students with learning disabilities. These students also need help in planning and organizing their work time. Parents can help them decide on the best time and place for their homework and assist them in choosing a quiet, distraction-free area for studying.
What Students Can Do
Students need to take an active role in managing their own homework routine. No amount of teacher or parent involvement will be enough if the student does not have the desire to do well on homework assignments. Unfortunately, students with learning disabilities are renowned for their poor study habits. For example, when researchers interviewed students about their homework practices, those with learning disabilities differed on several questions pertaining to attention, motivation, and study skills (Gajria & Salend, 1995).
Finally, parents should give careful thought to who, if anyone, will give the child direct help with homework. Depending on the particular family, a sibling, parent, or family friend might be designated as the helper. But for many students, learning disabled or not, family members and close friends are not good choices as helpers. Disagreements, arguments, and so forth that are likely to arise over other matters can interfere with the homework session. For parents who can afford it, tutors are often an excellent alternative.
Parents as Advocates
Even though IDEA protects the rights of students with disabilities to receive a free, appropriate education, there are times when schools or other community agencies are not completely responsive to these students' needs. Even the best schools are not perfect, and given the myriad learning and social problems presented by most students with learning disabilities, it is understandable that there are times when it will be helpful to have someone speak on the student's behalf. At some point, most parents of students with learning disabilities find it necessary to advocate for their children to ensure that they receive the best education possible.
Some parents may not be able to assume the role of advocate because of the time commitment this entails. As one manual for parents of children with learning disabilities states:
If you decide to undertake the role of advocate for your child, it should be with the realization that this is not a skill you will learn and then use for a year or two. Parents of LD children need to acknowledge that they will be the person (actually the only person) who has the overall picture of the child's disability, not only at a single point in time but throughout the years. You will find yourself playing the role of facilitator, coordinator, and overseer-no matter how good your child's school program and no matter how competent the professionals working with your child. It's much better to undertake the job realizing that it's a long-term commitment that will demand the best of your skills and energy than to approach the situation with the idea that your responsibilities will be to find the right school and the right teacher, and, that done, you will be able to relax while others take over. (Learning Disabilities Council, 2002, pp.20-21)
The Learning Disabilities Council (2002) manual for parents also recommends that parents or guardians keep a file containing information pertaining to the student's academic, health, and work experiences. This information can be used by the parent, and later by the child, to advocate for services and provisions.
As children with learning disabilities mature, they must become more and more comfortable with being their own advocates, especially after they finish secondary school. For example, it is helpful for students who attend college to know how to talk about their disability and the accommodations they need with their advisor, the staff from the office providing assistance to students with disabilities, and individual instructors.
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Excerpt from Learning Disabilities: Foundations, Characteristics, and Effective Teaching, by D.P. Hallahan, J.W. Lloyd, J.M. Kauffman, M.P. Weiss, E.A. Martinez, 2005 edition, p. 117-126.
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