Helping Teens Avoid Pregnancy

Parents and other adults can help teens act responsibly to reduce the chances of getting pregnant before being fully prepared for adulthood

Having a strong, close relationship with your child, setting clear expectations and limits, and communicating often and honestly about important issues makes a real difference.

Be clear about your own sexual values and attitudes. Research clearly shows that talking with your children about sex does not encourage them to become sexually active.

But just having "the talk" is not enough. Age-appropriate conversations about relationships and intimacy should begin early in a child's life and continue through adolescence. Communicate with your children about sex, love, and relationships. Let them know what your values and attitudes are when it comes to sex. Most importantly, set a good example with your own behaviors.

Talk to your children early and often about sex, and be specific. Kids have a lot of questions about sex. Most often, they want to talk to their parents, but may not feel comfortable beginning the conversation. You are the grown up, so start the conversation. Be sure to listen as well as talk. Don't make it a lecture. Be open, honest and respectful. Tell them what you believe and why. If you do not know the answer to a question, tell them you do not know. Ask them what they think and what they know so you can correct wrong information. Ask what, if anything, worries them. Respect their privacy and keep what they say confidential, unless they are in danger.

Some good ways to start the conversation:

• Start a conversation when driving in the car together.
• Take your teen out on a "date", whether it is a movie, a sports event, shopping, dinner or a museum. It makes them feel that they are special and important to you. It gives you a chance to find out what is going on with them, and gives them a chance to talk to you in private, away from other family members.
• Read a book or watch a movie together and talk about it. Look for opportunities to talk about sex and relationships.
• Have meals with the whole family when you can. Ask questions and listen.
• Take the time to touch base at the end of each day. Talk for a few minutes and find out what might be on your teen's mind.

Be a good listener. Sexual feelings can be confusing to young people. As a result, it is difficult for teens to talk about sex. You can make it easier for them by listening. Do not be judgmental. Just listen and be supportive.

Supervise and monitor your children and adolescents. Set rules, give curfews and be clear about how you expect your children to behave. Know where they are, when they go out with friends. If they are at a friend's house, make sure there are responsible, trustworthy adults there with them. Monitoring and supervising your kids does not make you a nag. It makes you a parent.

Know your children's friends and their families. Friends have a strong influence on each other. Encouraging your children to participate in wholesome activities like music, dance, sports, school clubs, community service, etc. will connect them with other kids who may share your family's values. If possible, have a party or some kind of get-together for other parents and discuss setting the same rules and expectations. It is easier to enforce a curfew if all of your children's friends' parents share the same expectations.