Holidays: Traditions and Transitions

We all want the holiday season to be a time of hope and renewal. Perhaps this is your first holiday as a parent, a single parent, or a stepparent — families are in constant transition and/or in search of new traditions.

An article entitled "The Importance of Rituals" discusses why rituals are important to babies, what type of rituals are important, establishing family rituals, and also links to a variety of other sites on family traditions.

Also, read Family Holiday Traditions or Develop Holiday Traditions Your Kids Will Enjoy which offer ideas on new traditions your family can established.

But often as not, the holiday weeks also bring with them an unwelcome visitor: Stress. Stress can come from a variety of directions — emotional stress, financial stress, physical stress. The stress is not just felt by adults — children are also very much affected.

Schedules may become irregular, particularly if you are traveling during the holidays. Families can cope better if they can keep routines as normal as possible and concentrate on important activities to reduce holiday stress.

Routines are important for children, so try to maintain normal meal and bedtime schedules even during holiday vacations.

Children may feel upset, grouchy or anxious during this busy time. Don't expect children to always be happy and appreciative. Having a quiet time is also a good idea during the holidays. Play soft music, read stories, or take a stroll to bring down your child's activity level.

Setting a "whisper hour," a time when everyone in the house must whisper, is a way to reduce noise and add mystery to the season.

Schedule shopping outings when the children are rested and not at the end of a busy work day. Better yet, trade babysitting with family or friends so you can go without the children, or look for local community "drop-in" programs to entertain and care for the children while you shop.

The following are additional tips which may help make your holidays more relaxed:

• Be realistic;
• Use humor;
• Do less instead of more — be selective in your activities;
• Don't try to meet everyone's standards;
• Concentrate on people instead of objects;
• Eat regular meals and focus on good nutrition;
• Let your children help you;
• Make a list of details that make the holiday easier and rely on it in following years;
• Holiday meals and entertaining — serve foods that can be prepared ahead of time and allow your guests to help themselves;
• Get regular exercise;
• Set a budget and stick to it;
• Make grandparents part of the holiday celebrations. This is an important way of sharing ideas and traditions between the generations;
• Select only the activities MOST important to the family. By letting go of the less important ones, the festive mood won't be hindered, but stress may be eased;
• Schedule activities over several days so the excitement isn't overwhelming for the children or for the adults; and 
• Be good to yourself — soak in a hot tub or get a foot massage.

Perhaps there have been changes in your family composition during the year. This may be your first holiday alone, your first holiday as a single parent, or your first holiday as a divorced dad, and you're trying to establish or make new traditions with your children. Be patient and realistic during this time of transition.