Making Your Decision After the Colleges Make Theirs

How Will You Be Notified?

Whether applications were submitted early or during the regular cycle, hope and its twin, anxiety, naturally rise for parents and students as the notification date nears. More and more, colleges are notifying students electronically to speed up the process and reduce uncertainty about when decisions will be received, since regular mail can be unpredictable. Colleges that post their decisions online typically announce the precise date and time when this information will be available. At the appointed hour, thousands of students across the country sit tensely in front of their computers checking for the final outcome.

Students expecting to receive their decisions via regular mail have a tougher time predicting exactly when their notifications will arrive. For many families, the familiar sight of the mail carrier or FedEx driver is filled with anticipation. The “thick” packet—the one containing an acceptance letter along with enrollment forms and other information—is the one that everyone hopes to see. The “thin” business size envelope is usually (but not always) the bearer of disappointing news.

The Special Case of Early Decision

The wait for an early answer is often an emotionally intense time. By the very nature of the process, the student has been asked to make a major investment in a college as the “top choice.” A lot seems to be riding on the outcome. When the outcome is a happy one, students and families are elated. When the outcome is not favorable, they can be severely disappointed, even if they knew it was a long shot.

Students can easily get caught up in their own feelings and forget that their friends and fellow students are dealing with their own concerns over the admissions process. We encourage everyone to save overt bursts of emotion, whether shrieks of joy or tears of disappointment, for a private setting. Some schools prohibit students from using on-site computers to access admission results for just this reason.

Early action and early decision letters should arrive next week. We feel that it is very important for students to treat other members of the community, and themselves, well—no matter what the results. Students who are admitted should consider the feelings of those who may not have been admitted or who have not applied early. Intense displays of happiness in public are not the most advisable behavior. Conversely, no one expects a student who did not get admitted to be happy about that. But intense public displays of anguish also can be a burden to others. We recommend that students try very hard to receive the decisions off-campus. - Posting on private school Web site in early December

Parents are urged to respect their children’s privacy for decisions received at home, whether they arrive via e-mail, regular mail, or are posted on a college’s Web site. Some students may want family members present. Faced with possible disappointment, however, some prefer to be alone to absorb the decision. Parents should take their cue from their child and be there, literally or figuratively, to offer support regardless of the outcome. If the news is disappointing, parents should be sure not to add to their child’s burden with displays of anguish or anger. This is good advice not only for the early acceptance cycle but also for the regular cycle notifications that come later.