Parents as Advocates

Becoming an Effective Advocate

Parents need to know how and where to get appropriate information; then they need to communicate this information convincingly to the appropriate helping source. For example, a parent who is told that her child is behaving immaturely in this grade three class needs to visit the class on a couple of occasions for first-hand knowledge of the problem and its seriousness. Maybe a trip to the family doctor is in order or a conversation with another adult who works with child in the community (e.g., the cub leader). If the parent knows that the immature behavior stems from the fact that a sibling has been in the hospital for tests, it’s best to let the teacher know so the child can get the support he needs during this stressful period. If a child is avoiding specific tasks at school (e.g., reading aloud in front of a group), the parent should understand that there must be a good reason.

To be an effective advocate, you should:

• develop the confidence to do your own advocating;
• develop problem solving techniques to overcome obstacles;
• find the information to make appropriate decisions;
• take appropriate actions;
• support your child’s efforts towards independence;
• learn what your rights are and what your child’s rights are;
• use effective communication in advocating for your rights;
• analyze problems and pinpoint areas of responsibility;
• learn about community resources and agencies;
• network with other parents and groups for mutual support; and
• connect with provincial/territorial Learning Disability Association (LDA) or your local chapter.

Self-Advocacy

Self-advocacy means speaking out and acting for yourself. Children whose parents have been active advocates for them know that they have supportive cheerleaders at home. They experience advocacy as part of everyday life.

Children who hear their parents speaking positively about them feel valued (e.g., John has a bent for electrical engineering not John never reads a book he just wastes his time repairing old radios). Feeling valued gives the child the confidence to speak up for himself so that he can get the help he needs (e.g., I’m finding it really hard to learn the order of the provinces). Sometimes a child will come up with his own coping strategies because he’s so aware of his own difficulties (e.g., I made up a game to remember the names of the provinces by calling each one the name of a famous baseball player).

Research has shown that as children enter high school they are often unprepared to communicate their learning needs to others. Teenagers want to fit in with their peers. However, the adolescent who has been involved in his parents’ advocacy efforts in elementary school or junior high will quite likely see it as normal behavior to ask for help with a problem subject or express his fear of exams. A child who knows he has short-term auditory memory problems can explain to the soccer coach that it’s best to write the plays down on paper so that he can see them more clearly.

Parents can enhance their own advocacy skills by working with the child on ways to communicate best with the teacher (e.g., Do you feel comfortable telling Mrs. Smith the book report was too difficult or who she appreciate a note from me?). It can be a relief to know that there are accommodations available at school, such as calculators, computers, spell checkers and extra time on tests. Parents may advocate for the use of these tools, but it is the child who will use them and determine what works best in a variety of situations. Teachers, students and parents must work together and agree on appropriate accommodations.

Guidelines for Parent Advocates

• Understand extraordinary time commitment involved in advocacy efforts.
• Recognize that if you don’t advocate for your child, no one else will.
• Recognize your limits and capacity to advocate; seek out advocacy allies.
• Model advocacy skills for your child.
• Use information as a powerful tool for understanding the puzzle of your child’s learning disability.