Resist Corporal Punishment

What You Need to Know

Research suggests that corporal punishment is counterproductive and actually reinforces the very behaviors that parents wish to end. 

• increases the probability of spanked kids hitting others
• often leads to antisocial behavior like cheating and getting into trouble at school
• yields children more likely to hit their parents as teenagers 

There are more effective methods than spanking to help a child learn right from wrong, and they involve parents becoming increasingly proactive and less reactive when it comes to discipline. 

An effective 4 guideline problem behavior prevention approach: 

1. Negative consequences occur when parents have unrealistic expectations. Placing the bar too high results in pressure, which leads to undesirable behavior. Recognizing your child's unique strengths, vulnerabilities, and developmental capabilities will enable realistic expectations and anticipation of situations that are likely to elicit misbehavior. Pinching a 4-year-old child for being unable to sit still and be quiet in a fancy restaurant is unfair, punishing a child for his inability to conduct himself in the manner of the surrounding adults beyond his own developmental capacity.
2. While there should be consequences when children misbehave, sometimes it is best handled by focusing on the causes rather than imposing harsh consequences. Many well-meaning parents penalize children due to misguided assumptions about their behaviors. A four-year-old's “defiant” bedtime behavior of running through the house and refusing to go to his room may be viewed as oppositional and manipulative. But knowing that the child is having nightmares that make falling asleep scary for him, makes you less apt to punish him and more apt to help him overcome the real problem of his fear.
3. Take a “helicopter view of your child's life – where your child has been, where your child is now, and where you hope your child winds up – to help choose your battles more selectively by recognizing when something that appears to be a major issue is actually quite small. If you battle with your child every morning about failing to making her bed, sit back and evaluate all the other ways in which your child is responsible. If she starts homework without prompting, completes chores in a timely manner, puts toys away after playing, and treats siblings kindly, then maybe not making the bed is not the end of the world.
4. The most powerful form of discipline is rewarding the behaviors you want to see more of, not reprimanding the ones you want to do away with. Misbehavior is lessened when you “catch” your child doing a good thing, set aside special time to spend alone with each child, share in their interests, and respond to mistakes with encouragement rather than criticism.

For more on this topic, see the complete article: