Resources for Coping Responses of Parents

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The ability of parents to respond to the stress of having a child with a disabling condition is based on two categories of resources available to them: internal resources and external resources.

Kirk and Gallagher (1989) find that some families are successful in coping with having children with disabilities, while some are not. Families that are successful "call on internal and external means of support for the strength to deal with the special needs of their children" (p. 22).

Internal Resources

There are five internal resources that are closely related to parents' coping responses. These five resources are described in the paragraphs that follow.

The Degree of Perceived Control or Lack of Control of the Situation

Using its own internal resources, a family can find it somewhat easier to adjust to life with a child with disabilities (Gallagher, 1986). Examples of internal resources are:

1. A mother who is satisfied with her marriage
2. A father who is supportive
3. Financial security
4. A commitment to a set of values (for example, strong religious beliefs)
5. The support of relatives, friends, and parents of other children with handicaps (Kirk & Gallagher, 1989, pp. 22-23)

Families may perceive the situation of having a child with disabilities in different ways. As a result, some may withdraw, while others may see it as a challenge. Turnbull and Turnbull (1990) give specific examples:

If we interpret an event negatively, we think of it as threatening our well-being or creating needs-in other words, it is stressful to us. If on the other hand, we interpret an event positively, we think of it as enhancing our well-being or satisfying our needs-in other words, we cope ... When we use an internal coping strategy, we revise our interpretations about an event that was originally perceived negatively, so that all or part of it can be perceived positively or at least neutrally. (p. 362)

Extended Family

Interactions in extended families with grandparents and other relatives such as uncles and aunts may be complex (Gabel & Kotsch, 1981). However, these extended family members may provide support and help (Caplan, 1976; Vadasy & Fewell, 1986). Professionals have started to realize the potential of grandparents as a significant source of support (Fewell, 1986a). Sonnek (1986) suggests that programs for extended family members, such as: (a) the family, infant, and toddler project; (b) the family intervention project; and (c) the grandparents' workshop, should focus on supporting the entire family and utilizing the existing helping relationships and patterns in the extended family on a day-to-day basis for effective family functioning.

Parental Relationships, Health, Energy, Morale, and Spiritual Perspective

Friedrich (1979) reports that degree of maternal satisfaction with the marriage is the single most significant factor in the mother's ability to cope with her child with a disability. This theme is supported by Fewell, Belmonte, and Ahlersmeyer (1983) who report that mothers rate spouses out of a possible nineteen other persons as the most significant support person when it comes to coping with the birth of a child with disabilities.

Generally speaking, parents who are in better health have more physical and/or emotional strength to cope with the situation of having a child with a disability. Parents with increased energy and morale may be more able to meet the needs of the child and maintain successful family life. On the contrary, parents may have more difficulty coping with stressful situations when they do not feel well (Turnbull & Turnbull, 1990).

Turnbull and Turnbull (1990) also include parents' religious views as one major component of internal resources. They stress that some parents may cope well with spiritual support, while others may not. Caplan and Killilea (1976) stated:

Many of us had been struck by the importance of religious metaphors in certain mutual help groups. We thought the more we knew about religion and religious concepts and how they operate in people's lives, the better we might understand about the nature of such things as conversion process (p.95).

Religious viewpoints and emphasis on human physical and mental abilities may influence parental acceptance of a disabling condition and their coping responses (Wolfensberger, 1967). In addition, certain religious doctrines and practices may increase or decrease some parents' feelings of guilt and, again, influence their coping responses (Zuk, 1959).

Problem Solving Skills

Hornby (989) suggests that professionals not only try to understand parents' needs, but also make efforts to get to know and utilize parents' strengths in order to increase their competency and participation in problem solving situations. These situations may include needing non-biased diagnosis and assessment, participating in individualized educational planning, deciding placement in specific programs, finding effective instructional or interventional strategies, dealing with challenging behaviors, and/or enhancing smooth and successful transition from school to community.