Roughing It

Teachers sometimes find it hard to distinguish between aggressive behavior and rough-and-tumble play, when children chase, wrestle, restrain, and hit one another for fun. Rough-and-tumble play is a normal activity that once upon a time probably helped to develop fighting skills and now perhaps plays a part in working out the dominance relationships in a group (Berk, 2000). English bullying expert Michael Boulton (1994) offers these tips on how to tell rough-and-tumble play from serious aggressive behavior:

• Facial and verbal expression. In rough-and-tumble play children usually laugh and smile. When they fight for real, they frown, stare, grimace, cry, and get red in the face.
• Outcome. Children continue to play together after rough-and-tumble play, but after a real fight they separate.
• Self-handicapping. In a play fight, a stronger or older child may let his opponent pin or catch him. This doesn’t happen in a serious fight.
• Restraint. In playful fighting, the contact between children is relatively gentle. When children are really fighting, they go all out.
• Role reversals. In rough-and-tumble play, children alternate roles—for example, they take turns chasing and being chased. This doesn’t usually happen in a fight.
• Number of partners. Lots of children—10 or more—can participate in rough-and-tumble play. Usually just two fight when it’s serious.
• Onlookers. Spectators aren’t interested in play fighting, but a serious fight or bullying usually draws a crowd.