Setting Rules

Setting Rules
photo by: mikebaird
State: Rhode Island Department of Education

Part of your job as a parent is to create a safe home for your kids

Even though teens won't say it, rules and limits actually make them feel safe and loved. Most kids can agree on fair rules if they are given a chance to give their point of view. Research shows that when parents and teens decide together what the rules should be, kids are more likely to think they are fair.

  • Sit together as a family to set rules for your kids. Include what they may do and with whom they may spend time. Make the rules clear.
  • Listen to your teen's input in a respectful way. If they feel they are too old for some rules, talk together about why you have them. Discuss how they might be changed.
  • Let your teens have a say in what will happen if rules are broken. When teens have a say in setting rules, they feel their opinion matters and that they are being included.
  • Once rules and consequences are set, be consistent. If you keep changing them, your teens may think you aren't sure what is right. If you don't enforce them, they will break the rules.
  • Explain to your kids that you set rules to keep them safe because you love them. Tell them it is your job to keep them safe and teach them responsible behavior. They may grumble but they will respect that.
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