Sharing

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Learning to communicate is, in part, learning to share. To communicate, children must share their ideas, take turns talking and listening, and share their time and interest. Learning to share is an important goal of preschool-primary education; the welfare of society depends on the willingness of its members to share.

Children do need to share resources—toys, blocks, materials, equipment—in the preschool-primary classroom. They also need to share the teacher’s attention. As children mature, they begin to share in the life of the school, planting gardens, cleaning up the playground, putting on a school play, or decorating the hallway. All these activities encourage children’s development of group social responsibilities, resulting in later participation in voting, government, and the concerns of the community and the world.

Everyone finds sharing a little difficult and uncomfortable at first. Each must give up some personal ideas, material, or time, sacrificing something for the good of others. Children have shared with their family and with those in the neighborhood; but once in school, they find they must participate in many other types of sharing and share on a larger scale. When children are part of very large groups, it sometimes seems as if they are called on to share constantly and are never able to have their own needs or desires fulfilled. Their ability to share is closely tied to their total development, especially their social development (McConnell, 2000). As children mature, their ability to share increases. In fact, sharing is a sign of maturity in our culture.

Researchers have identified levels in children’s development of understanding what others feel, want, and know:

Level 0 (about age 3 to 7) Children are aware that other people think differently but either insist “I can’t read his mind” or blithely assume that people in the same situation have the same point of view. Even 3-year-olds have some understanding of another’s point of view. For instance, studies show that children as young as 18 months are aware that others’ desires might differ from their own (Harris, 1989).

Level 1 (about age 6 to 8). Children realize that two people may see the same situation differently. They become increasingly interested in other people’s inner, psychological life (Lillard & Currenton, 2003).

Level 2 (about age 7 to 12). Now children realize that another person can think about what they are thinking and tune in on their thought processes.

Level 3 (about age 10 to 15). The child can now think about two different viewpoints simultaneously and sees how one influences the other. Children can step back from a two-person relationship and watch how they and another person interact from the viewpoint of a third party.

Level 4 (age 12 to 15). Children can now understand the role of society and the usefulness of social conventions.

The ability to share does depend on the development of role taking, but it also involves being able to read other people’s emotions. Children have to learn the difference between joy and sadness, anger and happiness, and pain and pleasure in others.