Top Ten Signs That You Have a Successful Blended Family

1. You and your spouse have clear house rules that apply to all family members

Yes, this means that house rules don’t change when you are tired, or your spouse is out of town. Both biological children and stepchildren all follow the same rules. It really does help when the parents also follow the same rules. (Why does Dad get to eat in the living room when the rest of us can’t?)

2. You hear laughter at meals

The kids are joking and comfortable enough to be a little silly at times. Even if some of your kids are more outgoing, watch your introverted children respond by smiling to the antics of the louder children.

3. All children are treated fairly and equally by their biological parent and their stepparent

The children are watching to see if you really love everyone the same, and will keep “tabs” on how you are doing!

4. Your child is willing to introduce their stepparent to their teachers or friends

It’s awkward at first, but smile and praise your kids (later) when they are able to introduce their new stepparent to their friends and teachers.

5. Your stepsiblings talk to each other, when they are in the house together

With a newly blended family, silence may be the loudest noise in your home. As kids become more used to their new family, they will gradually talk with their new stepsiblings. Don’t automatically jump into the conversation. Let them talk amongst themselves without realizing that you and your spouse are listening and rejoicing over their conversational attempts.

6. You have more than one photo, in your house, with all members of your blended family in it, and everyone is smiling

I know some of you are laughing, but a newly blended family does NOT photograph well together. There are lots of frowns, pouts, crossed arms and lowered heads. Take candid shots of your kids, while they are enjoying an activity. This is a great way to expose them to photos of your new family. Display these candid shots around your home. It takes a little while, but photographing your family, as a whole, is an important step for all. You are stating to the world that this is my family, and I’m proud of it.

7. One of your kids walks in, with a bag full of snacks, and says “want some” to one of his stepsiblings