Praise Can feel Coercive

Traditionally, parents and teachers have been told to praise children. But increasingly, praise is seen as ‘coercive’ – it makes children do things to make others happy, rather than for their own satisfaction. Classroom praise, critics argue, puts the teacher’s opinions above those of the child. And evaluative praise such as “Good job” and “Nice work” are particularly meaningless. 

Encouragement, by contrast, rewards behavior rather than the end product. Positive reinforcement of this kind focuses more on what children are doing, making first graders feel competent and valued. 

1. Be specific. Instead of saying “Good job” to a first grader who’s completed a jigsaw puzzle, congratulate them on the way they stayed focused, or the methodical way they approached the problem. 
2. Process, not product. If you only praise children who achieve things, you miss the chance to develop their work ethic. Look out for the child who keeps trying, and doesn’t let mistakes set them back. 
3. Nonverbal reinforcement. You don’t always have to talk to make your child feel loved. A smile, a high-five, a hair-tousle, or just sitting and watching them work can be supportive. 
4. Don’t compare. Children develop at different rates, so judge each unique child on his or her own merits. 
5. Help children appreciate what their own progress. “Jason, you must be proud of talking to Nick instead of fighting, after he took your fire truck.” 
6. Indicate how children’s actions affect their peers. “Kevin, see how happy you made Louise, when you helped her pin the new word up on the word wall.” 

For more information on praising and encouraging your child, please see the full article:

For more information on positive reinforcement with your child, please see this article: