Your Three-Year-Old

Typical Behaviors of Three-and-a-Half-Year-Olds

Three-and-a-half is often a turbulent and unsettled period in the life of the young child. Characterized by strong will and determination, the three-and-a-half-year-old is actually emotionally and physically insecure. Behavior at this stage is now noticeably different than it was at three years of age.

Motor Behaviors

• Seems less coordinated; falls frequently, and expresses fear of falling
• Stumbles and may exhibit hand tremors
• Approaches tasks with less assurance
• Grasps pencil awkwardly
• May shift handedness, sometimes unsure of which hand to use

Language Behaviors

• Tries to control others with language and is verbally demanding; may stammer
• Loves to play with language, whisper secrets, and make up new words
• Adores silly rhyming
• May or may not respond when spoken to
• Argues frequently with other children

Personal-Social Behaviors

• Ignores adult direction and requests; often refuses to obey
• Is anxious about change
• May have imaginary companions
• Cries, whines, and complains
• Is sensitive and easily upset
• Has a variety of tensional outlets like thumb sucking, nail biting, nose picking
• Finds friends extremely important

Learning Behaviors

• Prefers the simplicity of sand play
• Repeats actions over and over again, finding transitions difficult
• Plays appropriately with toys
• Hesitates with slides and stairs
• Has many different ways of expressing refusal and uses these means often
• Shows imagination, inventiveness, and a real capacity for play

Parenting Strategies

At three years old, life tends to flow smoothly. Parental enthusiasm, stamina, goodwill, common sense, and ingenuity may be all that is necessary. It is important to reinforce the positive behavior you now see and enjoy simple activities with your child. Provide safe, cozy places and develop smooth transitions to new activities. Three-year-olds like to have stories read to them repeatedly and will sometimes memorize nearly every word.

Typical three-and-a-half year old behavior is characterized by stubbornness and determination. Your child’s strong-minded resistance is better overcome by gentleness and strategy than by force. “Flexible control” may be the best method of discipline now. Make reasonable demands firmly and consistently, but be prepared to negotiate at other times. Approaching difficult situations head on with a child of this age will likely lead to a battle of the wills. Pick your battles carefully. Distraction can resolve the issue before a struggle develops fully.

If you see resistance setting in, ask your child a question, pay him or her a compliment, or verbally share something interesting. The times when children of this age may be at their worst are often the times when they need the most help from their parents or caregivers. At three-and-a-half years, children do not misbehave just to be naughty; it is simply the way the physical self functions at this time in life. If your three-year-old will attend an early childhood program, be sure to select one that will view your child as an individual, with unique needs and abilities. To ensure that your child is active, engaged, and continually supported in his or her healthy growth and learning, curriculum should be versatile, thoughtfully planned, developmentally appropriate, and respectful of children, their families, and individual backgrounds. Visit www.naeyc. org for more information about developmentally appropriate practice and indicators of quality.

The purpose of this pamphlet is to provide an overview of the typical, normal behaviors of young children at different ages and stages of development. Not every child goes through these somewhat predictable stages, and those who do have their own unique styles and individual timetables. Our advice to parents is to work with these stages, channeling behaviors and actions into positive outcomes without trying to prevent individual behaviors or characteristics.