What is bullying?
- Bullying is an intentional act. The child who bullies wants to harm the victim; it is no accident.
- Bullying involves repeated occurrences. Bullying is not generally considered a random act nor a single incident. Rather, a child is repeatedly picked on by another child or is the target of harassment from a whole group of children. It is the repeated nature of bullying that causes anxiety and apprehension in victims, such that the anticipation of bullying becomes as problematic as the bullying itself.
- Bullying is characterized by a power difference; an unfair fight where the child who bullies has some advantage or power over the child who is victimized. Bullying is not the same as “playing around,” it is about the abuse of power.
| Bullies are rejected by their peers and have no friends. | Many bullies have high status in the classroom and lots of friends. |
| Bullies have low self-esteem. | High self-esteem can sometimes encourage bullies. |
| Being a victim builds character. | Bullying experiences increase children’s vulnerabilities. |
| Many childhood victims of harassment become violent as teens. | Victims of bullying are more likely to suffer in silence than to retaliate. |
| There is a victim personality. | There are usually a combination of situational and social risk factors apart from certain personality traits that make children vulnerable. |
| Bullying involves only perpetrators and victims. | Bullying incidents are typically public events that have witnesses. |
Source: Some Myths and Facts about Bullies and Victims, Sandra Graham
Additional Content
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Bullying in Preschool: What Parents Need to Know
Believe it or not, bullying in preschool is more common than you think. Here's how concerned parents should handle...
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What to Do About the Mean Girls
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Warning Signs That a Child Is Being Bullied
What is bullying? Bullying among children is aggressive behavior that is intentional and that involves an imbalance of...
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Help Your Child Cope With Teasing
Teasing is something we all grow up with. It's part of family life, it's part of childhood, even adults tease each...
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The Emotional Toll of Bullying in Schools
News reports of recent episodes of violent school shootings have described the shooters as isolated and lonely...
Source: NYU Child Study Center
Is my child bullied?
Possible warning signs:
- Numerous lost belongings
- Frequent injuries or damage to clothes or property
- Spends time primarily with younger students (may indicate a problem with peers)
- Avoids recess (i.e., playground) before, during and/or after school
- Arrives to school late or just at the starting bell
- Appears to be alone most of the time at school
- Obtains an excessive or insufficient amount of sleep
Questions and Answers on Bullying
See recent questions and answers on dealing with bullying.
