Articles

Better Body Image for the Younger Set

by Erik Fisher, Ph.D. "Dr. E"

The messages that our children are given about beauty begin very early in life. They range from the very subtle, “Don’t you look pretty in that dress”, to the very obvious, “You shouldn’t eat so much, or you will get fat.”

Societal pressure is the culprit, and it has only grown more intense since I started my research into body image more than 20 years ago. We compare clothes, jobs, schools, homes, cars. We surrender our power, and ultimately the power of our children, to everyone else to tell us if we are pretty, smart, talented, successful, strong. It feels good when someone compliments us, but how many of us thirst for those compliments? How many of our children do?

As a psychologist and a father, I take a deeper look at the parenting experience and all of the potential issues that influence our children. For instance, I picked up my 2 and a half year-old daughter from our caregiver’s home and to my shock her caregiver said, “Show Daddy your pretty nails.” My daughter then showed me her painted nails. My wife and I had not painted our daughter’s nails before, nor did we plan to for some time. Some parents may read this example and think, “What’s the big deal?”, while others may share my concerns. But, I ask, what is the first thing that people say when they see a little girl with painted nails? Often the response is, “Don’t you look pretty.”

I want my child (and every child) to feel absolutely beautiful, but from the inside out, not the outside in. I also want her to believe in who she is, not what she wears or what she does to her body.