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How to Talk to Your 5th Grader

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by Chick Moorman
Topics: Social and Emotional, Preteen Years (9-13), Fifth Grade, Communicating with Children, more...
How to Talk to Your 5th Grader

Are you and your fifth grader having a hard time coming to an agreement? Is he indecisive? Does he drag his feet or just refuse to agree with anything you say? Then now is the time to add the “tie-down” strategy to your talks.

Tie-downs are a way to get a positive verbal response from a resistant child. They are phrases that you attach to a question to increase your chances of getting an affirmative commitment. Some examples are:

 

  • Aren’t they?”

  • Can’t you?”

  • Doesn’t it?”

  • Haven’t they?”

  • Isn’t that correct?”

  • Won’t you?”

  • Wasn’t it?”

  • Couldn’t you?”

  • Don’t we?”

  • Don’t you agree?”

 

You should use tie-downs during important discussions with your fifth grader. They help build momentum towards an agreement. Here's an example of how it might work:

So you left your books at school, didn’t you?”

Yes.”

That violates our agreement, doesn’t it?”

Yes.”

You can guess what that means, can’t you?”

 

Tie-downs are a gentle way of reminding your child of her obligations and commitments. You'll get less resistance and fewer arguments, don't you agree?

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3 comments

Comments from readers

  1. Nov 6, 2007
    jemarshabrinson says:
    what is D.A.R.E.
  2. Nov 12, 2007
    Lauren says:
    D.A.R.E. is a program that tells your child not to smoke or drink. D.A.R.E. stands for Drug Alchohol Resitance Education. Get it?
  3. Jul 7, 2008
    TOM says:
    does my child o.k if it still watches pbs cause i worry that something might be wrong with them there names are moriah and angel they watch the telleitubbies and cliford and elmo mon. to fri

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