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When Twins Start School: Separate or Together?

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by Patricia Smith
Topics: Kindergarten, Parenting Multiples, more...
When Twins Start School: Separate or Together?

You’ve always felt confident in your decisions concerning the health and well being of your two little peas in a pod. Until now. With the first day of kindergarten right around the corner, you’re feeling uncertain. Should you separate your twins and send them to different classrooms? Or keep them together under one roof?

Take heart, you’re not alone in facing this dilemma. With good reasons on either side of the education coin, the debate is heating up. Studies show that a majority of parents lean toward keeping their kids side-by-side. According to a recent survey conducted by the National Organization of Mothers of Twins Club (NOMOTC), 43% of educators favor separation. Nancy L. Segal, Ph.D., researcher and best-selling author on twin methodology, offers what is perhaps the best suggestion, “The individual needs of each twin pair need to be considered by both educational and psychological consultants and parents in formulating placement decisions.”

With that in mind, formulating the best placement decision for your twosome requires making a few phones calls and scheduling a couple of meetings. Below are some suggestions of who to approach in order to broaden your perspective, provide new data, and lighten your load.

  • Parents of school-aged twins. Who knows better than parents who have followed a certain course of action? Ask what worked for them and their twins, and what didn’t.
  • Teachers past and present. Talk with preschool, daycare, church, and playgroup teachers who have worked with your twins. Introduce yourself to the kindergarten teachers where your twins will attend and talk with them as well. Be open to their advice and insights.
  • Administrators and counselors at your twins’ school. Ask questions. What are their policies? What is the reasoning behind them?  What do their statistics show? Do they have flexible placement? Is together in kindergarten, but separate in first grade an option?
  • Your twins. Ask each one how she feels about staying together or stepping out on her own.  Always consider their feelings in making your final decision. As every parent knows, five-year-olds can be very wise.
  • Yourself. Follow your heart. All things considered, you probably know best. Don’t discount your own instincts. Just combine them with the advice you hear from others before following your gut.
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6 comments

Comments from readers

  1. May 21, 2008
    Michelle says:
    I am a twin. As far as school goes, my mom fought the school to keep us together in kindergarten and I was personally thankful for it. I had my twin there as my sidekick when I needed her but I was also making friends so that when the next year came along I was fully ready to leave her and we have only been in ap and honors classes together since then. It worked out great for me.
  2. Aug 30, 2008
    Carrie says:
    My daughter is fighting tooth and nail to get her twin boys together in the kindergarten class. She made the request at enrollment. She is getting the run around daily from the school officials, but refuses to ignore her son's pleas to not make him be alone & to please ask my teacher can I be in my brother's room because she told me no. I am furious at the way she has been ignored. I told her they were her children and to keep fighting for them.
  3. Jan 28, 2009
    Ray says:
    My twins are a year old, and at a nursary. The teachers seperated them and I had complaints that they were just difficult. But I suggested that they not seperated and they were brought together again. Now I have no complaints and they're easy and happy. I think the choice should be left to the twins themselves. No matter how hard we try we cant tune into their phyc. They have a certain way of communicating and feeling what the other does. I've learnt to just let them be, as strange as I find their action.  They follow one another all over, like shadows to one another.
  4. Feb 14, 2009
    claire says:
    my twins are in kindergarten together and we had to fight hard to keep them together. Keep pushing the principal and vice principal and put things in writing.
     
    My boys settled in really well because they had each other. They both have their own set of friends and observing them in class, they really dont interact much but do know they are both close if they need each other.
     
    I recommend it and 4 other sets of twins have been kept together in our kindergarten. THere is such a wide range of teachers, I wanted to give them both the same opportunity and also with the homework its easier if they are both doing the same amount and curriculum as they talk about the letter of the week etc between themselves!
  5. Aug 18, 2009
    Jennifer says:
    I am a twin and I went through kindergarten with my sister and loved having her there. They never put us together after that but that was okay.  As with all twins, one is usually very protective of the other one though and that can lead to problems. I think that you should try really hard to keep them together in kindergarten and then seperate them after that.
  6. Sep 16, 2009
    Lois Rossiter says:
    I am a twin, we were always in the same classes together. The teacher even put us next to each other. I think twins should be together.  

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