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Cutting: A Teen Trend on the Rise

(based on 17 ratings)
by Jill Pertler
Topics: Teen Years (13-19), Teen Cutting, more...
Cutting: A Teen Trend on the Rise

Cutting is an increasingly popular behavior among teens—and it doesn't mean skipping classes, anymore. Cutting, with a paper clip, scissors, pen or other sharp object on the skin, is just one of a number of self-injurious behaviors that kids use to hurt themselves.

Wendy Lader, PhD, clinical director of S.A.F.E Alternatives and co-author of Bodily Harm, says self-harm is more prevalent than most people think. “Studies on adolescents in community samples report a lifetime prevalence between 15 and 20 percent,” she says.


So, why would kids purposefully cut themselves? The most common reason is control of emotions, according to Lader. “For kids experiencing intense emotions, it can be used to deaden the intensity. For those feeling a sense of numbness, it serves the opposite effect, helping them feel something,” Lader says.

Experts say for some adolescents, self-injury indicates other mental health concerns, such as depression. Others use is as a way to fit in with peers.

And this behavior can become addictive, according to Susan Bowman, licensed counselor and author of See My Pain: Creative Strategies and Activities for Helping Young People Who Self-Injure. “When kids cut themselves, it releases endorphins and they get a high from it,” she says. “It becomes a control issue: This is the way I release the pressure.”
 
There are clues that parents can watch for when it comes to self-injury. In addition to unexplained cuts and bruises, a change in communication, eating or sleeping patterns can be red flags. Though parents are understandably appalled at the thought of their child self-injuring, Bowman says this is exactly the reaction to avoid. “If you are shocked by a cut on their wrist, they may not trust you to accept and deal with what’s really bothering them,” she says. “They need caring and nurturing.”

So, how should you react? Here's some advice from the experts:

  • Communication is key. “Listen. Speak calmly, without judging, while expressing your love and concern,” Lader says. “Don’t try to offer your opinion or fix the problem. The goal is to foster open communication,”
  • Ask the right questions. Bowman says parents should use “what” and “how” questions, like “What makes you want to hurt yourself?”
  •  Positive attention is a valuable part of the healing process. “Kids need attention when they are using positive coping skills and talking about their problems,” Bowman says.
  •  Consider therapy. “A therapist can help determine if the child is experiencing some underlying issue that they don’t know how to identify or talk about,” says Lader. If you aren't sure how to choose a therapist, the school counselor might be a good place to start. Bowman also advises looking for someone experienced in adolescent issues, and specifically self-injury.  “A combination of therapy techniques, such as cognitive, behavioral and creative arts therapy usually works best,” Bowman says.
 

Self-injury is a cry for help. Kids engaging in these behaviors desperately need parents to provide understanding and a willingness to listen.

Jill Pertler has a Bachelor's degree in psychology with a minor in creative writing. The psychology degree led her to her first career, working with children and adults with disabilities. Now she is a freelance writer and mother.
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35 comments

Comments from readers

  1. Dec 17, 2007
    rebekah says:
    I liked this article beause it helps me understand a little maore of the reasons why I cut. I still dont understand completely, and probably won't, but it has hepled a little bit. It is very interesting to read about what I go through and how many other people suffer cutting also.
  2. Jan 17, 2008
    mckenzie says:
    WOW!!!!!!!!!!
  3. Feb 19, 2008
    worried mom says:
    My daughter is a cutter, Pray for her, and for me as I try and help her anyway I can.
  4. Mar 13, 2008
    Jessica says:
    My daughter has been cutting for a couple years now.  she is 12 years old. I have her seeing Dr.s and therapists.  she has been hospitalized 3 times since December.  I think the hardest part is not knowing what to do to help her through this. Feeling hopeless because I cant take away her pain.
  5. Mar 26, 2008
    amanda says:
    my daughter is 14 and has been cutting her arms for 3 months shes started seeing a counsellor . shes so angry all the time. it breaks my heart to see her so troubled at her age
  6. Apr 3, 2008
    joann says:
    my son has just been hospitalized for cutting, depression and anxiety. help!
  7. Apr 7, 2008
    Tracy says:
    My daughter started cutting last week.  I Took her to the Hospital, She didn't want to stay, Im so afraid of getting her mad now.  I feel like Im walking on egg~shells. She only 13 yrs old. She's my only child. I love her so much, I don't know how to help her feel, without cutting herself.
  8. Apr 7, 2008
    susn says:
    While the information in this article is helpful, it also comes a little too late for some.  The initial reaction I had when I saw my daughter's cut up arm was one of horror--it scared me to death.  For me, this came as a total surprise--one I wasn't prepared for.  Looking back, I wish I had reacted differently.  I did express that I loved her and was scared.  She refuses to talk about it now and also refuses to seek counselling.  I am also at a lose for knowing how to deal with her--Tracy & Joann & all you moms, I'm right there with you!!  I feel your pain and I can totally relate.  At least your kids are receiving help!!!  
    With prayer, hopefully our kids will come out of all this stronger and more able to cope with life.
  9. Apr 17, 2008
    veronica says:
    i used to and now i know that is sometging you cant stop and is very adictave
  10. May 9, 2008
    Cheetos says:
    this kind of helps me understand wat i get from cutting.
  11. May 13, 2008
    lacey chagnon says:
    i am a teen who does not want to hurt my self in any way but thats the only way i can stop hurtting on the inside what sould i do befor i get adicted to it
  12. May 15, 2008
    Mika says:
    I cut only during my darkest times... it helps me feel better
  13. May 22, 2008
    lacey chagnon says:
    hi im 13 years old and my parents found out i was cutting myself and they dont understand why im doing it and  if i tell them they still wont understand and know i want to keep doing it. i say that im going to do it again and they dont believe me. when i do cut myself it makes me feel better because the pain i have inside is gone and when i look at the scares i already have it makes me want to do it again so you know what thats what im going to do.
  14. May 23, 2008
    sam says:
    i was a cutter till one of my friends at school found out and told the school conciler i was mad at her for months i was cutting 3to 4 times a day and it helped release pressure from home and school.when i was told on i was up to 118 on my arm and 37 on my legs i still like to do it but my mom took all sharp objects away from me she yelled at me when she found out i was doing it and yelled at me and told me i was stupid for doing it but she dosen't relize how unhappy i am and have been for 2 years know i love my friends though some of them help me not do it and some of them do it there selves but i try stoping and it is addicting it made me feel good in side unlike normal i felt deppresed, i failed out classes, got into drugs,started sleeping around and i started wearing long sleeves all the time. i slept alot more often and my mom didn;t find out till the girl that use to be my friend told on me. after three months of hating her and halfting to get profeshinal counciling she started to talk to me and i finally forgave her mostly i still dont trust her all the way though.i did get help but i still love it, it make me happy inside and if it is what i like doing as long as im not killing myself what is it anybodys buisness  
  15. Jun 20, 2008
    kathy says:
    my daughter is 13 she has been cutting for a couple of months now, she has been hospitalized and now is seeing a councelor. I love her and want her to stop how do I make her see how she is hurting me?
  16. Jul 17, 2008
    Mom Roy says:
    I am sitting here close to midnight and my 17 year old daughter has driven to her boyfriend's house because he is cutting himself.  I am so worried for her because she cannot fill his emotional needs.  "T" is incredibly good looking, funny and very loving.  He is also afraid because he has a heart condition that requires him to avoid contact sports and a stepfather he cannot talk to and fears.  This week his mom is away and he is having trouble sleeping.  After an argument with my daughter last night she refused to take his calls and didn't return his text messages for 2 hours.  Suddenly he called her crying and cutting himself.  I don't know what to do.  I care for this boy even though I have known him a short amount of time.  "T" can be impulsive and has an incredible need to be loved and reassured.  Please give me some advice. No one in his family knows not even his best friend Mike. He has dated my daughter for 2 months and confided this secret to her. Now whenever they have a fight he cuts himself.  I feel my daughter is also being manipulated emotionally and she has never dealt with this before.  I can't confront him about it because I am not suppose to know.  Please give me some good advice.  The mother in me wants to save "T" and ease his pain but I know it is unrealistic.
  17. Jul 20, 2008
    Brittany says:
    my name is brittany and i have been a cutter for about a year and cant stop my advice to parents as a teen cutter is to be there for your kid and make sure they know you love them and care for them what ever you do dont react with anger and dissopointment because that makes me fell like i am a bad person and makes me cut more.
  18. Jul 22, 2008
    Coach Becky says:
    My husband and I took some kids from school on a trip in May. On that trip I learned so much about my girls. One confessed to cutting. A so called friend told her to slit her wrists to kill herself. Now, she continues to cut. I was in shocked, cried and just held her for hours. After talking to the girls, I laid awake in my room half the night. I am so worried about her. I don't want to betray her trust in me, but I've told no one including my husband. I don't know how to help her. I feel like there is more going on and that cutting is just the tip of the ice-berg so to speak. How do I get her to open up to me and try to help her? Any advise would be great.
  19. Jul 22, 2008
    kasey says:
    i am 13 and i have been cutting myself for about a year now. my advice to parents is if your child comes to you and tell you they are cutting or you notice scars or cuts on their body dont yell at them. sit down with them and talk about what is best and what your child wants to do. my parents never asked me if i needed counceling or help. they just yelled and told me that i was stupid to hurt myself on purpose. they dont understand what i am going through and i have to say a few times i have done it was because of them. them telling me i need to stop makes me want to do it even more. its a very hard thing for your child to go through and yelling just makes it worse. trust me i know.
  20. Aug 20, 2008
    Oren Palomares-New Caney-TX says:
    Hi, I am not a cutter but i know a girl that has done it before. I met her last year in my advanced spanish class in high school. I was blown away instantly when i layed eyes on her she is an incredible, smart human being. She is getting ready to go off to college at UT in Austin, TX. A year ago when i met met her I noticed scars on her wrists, but I didn't know what to make of them. Later on that week I saw a segment on the Tyra Banks show on cutters and that's when I knew. I never brought myself to ask her about it because I thought it would be disrespectful or something of that nature. I tried to befriend her but all effort was lost. A year later I Receive an E-Mail from her apologising "for everything she didnt do". We started to talk and within a few weeks we began to have a meaningful relationship (she is the girl of my dreams). She lives with her mom Step Brother and Step Step dad. He is a very mentally unstable man and it rubs off on her and her step brother. She has told me numerous times about the unhealthy situations she has gone through living with that man in the house. I can't do anything about though. I have been trying to spend as much time with her because she starts school on the 22nd of August. Recently she had a big big fight with her step step dad and was ignoring all my calls and txts, she calls me later at night and tells me that she had been having a very bad day and that she didnt want me to see her wrists I didnt know what to do or say, so I just acted like it was no big deal I'm seeing her today and I already know that she will be wearing a long sleeve shirt or a light jacket I'm in the outskirts of Houston,TX and it's a very hot day today I hope she doesnt think I'm not going to want to take her jacket off. I aksed to come live with me after she comes back from College because I think part of the problem is that man she is living with. I need advise from someone who has overcome or someone who is seeing progress with someone. Tell me what else to do because I don't want this "issue" to be the cause of me leaving her I'm deeply in love with her and plan to marry her someday.....The internet can only help so much. Please Please help!  
  21. Nov 19, 2008
    freddy45 says:
    everyone that cuts themselfs is taking a very risky chance of cutting a vein so it s not very smart to cut yourself
  22. Jan 5, 2009
    Just Another Person In This World says:
    I know alot of people who cut themselves, and it is a very hard thing to deal with.  Most of my friends who do it have family issues that 'cause them.. but the odd ones just do it to fit in or because they want to be "Emo" and think they have to cut themselves to suceed.  Family / Parental Problems are the main cause of cutting in teens.  If your a parent and have a teen whose cutting, do not yell at them.  That'll just make it worse.  Most teens wouldn't want to talk about it with their parents either, so mention it to one of their friends or a counaler at school.  A School-Councaler would be the main thing that would work.  I am a cutter.. and most people don't know..  but that is how I would want someone to deal with me if a parent was worried..
  23. Feb 22, 2009
    rhonda says:
    My son started cutting himself 2 years ago, he has stopped now but it took alot of love and him knowing that even though it was scarring the hell out of me. I was going to give up on him. I got him help through a woulderful dr. that had a lot of experience in this field, she not only helped him understand why he was doing it but also helped me to understand. I would have never made it through this with out her. The weirdest thing was that he only did it at school so when we finally figured out it was his friends and just the fact that he hated that school i open-enrolled him in a different school and he is doing wonderful now. he has a completely different group of friends and is a A-B student now. So there is hope just don't give up on them.
  24. Mar 12, 2009
    Sara says:
    My 12 year old  son is cutting himself and even cut a pentagram in his arm. I know he is doing it for the attention and because his friend is doing it. He did not start doing this until he started a new school and became friends with an EMO who cutes himself. Any ideas on what I should do? Should I switch schools?What?
  25. Mar 24, 2009
    alejandra says:
    My Name is Alejandra and i am 17 yrs old. I have a 13 yr old little sister who is cutting herself i bearly found out 3 days ago and im really worried. i dont know what to do i need help. my mom doesnt  care about her. but as her older sister i want to help her but i dont know how. i need advice!
  26. Mar 25, 2009
    AVA says:
    My son has been cutting himself for about two years now.  I honestly don't understand these kids.  They have everything they want and need, they have parents that cared and take them places, give them money for the movies, pick them up after they have hanged out with their friends, they get them ipods and cell phones and have internet at home and satellite TV.  They take them shopping for clothes let them express themselves, but yet they seem to think their life is so misserable.  What is so misserable about all that?  My son makes up stories to his friends about my husband and I.  He tells them we are getting a divorce and that is the furthest thing from the truth.  Everything he says to the is a lie.   I wish he could really go and see what a misserable life really is like, but he wtill won't care.  These kids live in such a fantasy world and they actually believe all the crap they feed their friends to make them feel sorry for them.  All they want is attention and honestly I am fed up with it.  What is wrong with these kids?  Why can't they see that we as parents are doing everything for them and they just don't care.
  27. Mar 25, 2009
    dgraab says:
    Hello Education.com visitors with questions related to this article or other topics,
                 
    The best place to get your questions answered by other parents, teachers and experts on Education.com is our new tool, JustAsk, which you can access here:
                 
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  28. Mar 25, 2009
    dgraab says:
    @ Alejandra: It's really important that you talk to a trusted adult (your parents, teacher or doctor) about your sister. It's great that you're looking for help for her, and we urge you to talk to a professional or other adult in person so that you can get the help your sister needs.
  29. Mar 26, 2009
    steven says:
    okay i am 26 years old and as a teenager i used to "cut". and trust me taking your child to a therapist doesn't work! it just creates more stress and that's the reason why we do it anyways! my mom made me go to therapists and it just made me cut even more. i finally told her that was why i was cutting and she took me out of it so please trust me don't put your child in therapy it will only make it worse
  30. Apr 4, 2009
    M* says:
    My son is 15 and I found razors in his room about 2 years ago just like the other parents I freaked out and became very scared.  We started seeing a therapist but things didn't change and thought it would be a good idea if we moved away from the ppl we thought brought this into his world.  We thought moving him to a different place would help him and we could pick up our lives where we left it before the cutting began.  His self esteem seemed to pick up and he was dressing differently and making friends with other teens who seemed to have it all together.  About 3 months ago he began wearing the same clothes, listening to the same music and had begun hitting the walls with his fist.  It seemed as though our son was going backwards once again.  Today I walked into his room and noticed cut marks on his shoulder.  My husband and my son are now headed to the emergency room to seek help.  We've been through the process of a therapist and now I have no other option but seek help elsewhere.   I just can't go through this ordeal again and forget about our other child like I did before because all of our energy went to him and making sure we were making him happy.   I'm so torn with so many different emotions...anger, hurt, confusion and being scared.  What do I do? admit him or walk on egg shells or try a therapist again.  
  31. Apr 6, 2009
    dgraab says:
    Hello Education.com visitors with questions related to this article or other topics,
                  
    The best place to get your questions answered by other parents, teachers and experts on Education.com is our new tool, JustAsk, which you can access here:
                  
    http://www.education.com/answers/
                  
    Thank you!
  32. Aug 17, 2009
    Scared Mom says:
    i discovered yesturday my 12 year old daughter started cutting herself last week!!!  (she took a picture-it had a date stamp)  i'm a single mom and she has seen her dad twice at the most this past year.  well, now she hates me wants to be with him.  she called him and he originally agreed for her to go visit just for a few days to let emotions settle (her and i were both upset) and then come back to me....i've arranged for counseling for all of us, etc...now he's refusing to return her.  says i'm an unfit mother.  I told him she is to be returned by 9am tomorrow, as we agreed, or i would contact appropriate authorities.  i don't know if anyone is reading this, but i'm so scared!!!!!!!!!!!  her and i had an incredible relationship and now within a moments time she is hating me.  
  33. Aug 18, 2009
    dgraab says:
    Hello Scared Mom (and other Education.com visitors with questions or situations related to this article/topic):
     
    JustAsk is the BEST RESOURCE on Education.com to get direct advice and support from members of the Education.com community, including Experts. It is also typically faster to get responses to your needs in JustAsk rather than leaving notes in Comments.
     
    Please visit JustAsk today to share your experiences and seek input. Other parents who have asked teen cutting questions in JustAsk have received great responses, and are on their way to helping their teens address this serious issue.
     
    JustAsk homepage:
    http://www.education.com/answers/
     
    JustAsk Q&A related to cutting:
    http://www.education.com/answers/teen-cutting/
     
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  34. Aug 30, 2009
    KV says:
    I'm 15 and I've cut for years, but it got really serious in my freshman year of high school. I gave up this summer to constant therapy and all of that crap, and cutting isn't emo or anything like that so some people really need to rid themselves of their stereotypes. It wasn't necessarily the therapy that made me want to stop, nor have I completely stopped. Its an ADDICTION, and I don't even know what to make of it myself. It sucks that so many parents want to be there and that it just never works. I feel so bad for my mom because she can't help me. I mean, I do want to get better but I fear I never will, I dunno.
     
    And @AVA, I think you may be underestimating us. I do agree that a lot of kids never really appreciate what they have until they lose it, but don't minimize the possibility of him having problems. Parents do the best that they can with their kids, but that doesn't always necessarily make them happy. I don't agree with his lying though, but you should probably investigate into why he's lying to begin with. Some people do cut and hurt themselves for attention, but thats not mainly it.
     
    I dunno what else to say. This was what was on my mind, I guess.
  35. Sep 30, 2009
    becky says:
    I am 15 years old.  I do not cut but one of my friends starting cutting about 2 years ago.  About 2 months ago that same friend comitted suicide by cutting her wrists.  Now i wake up everyday with the guilt that i knew she was in pain and didnt tell anyone.  My advice to everyone; if you know someone who cuts, tell someone who can help them.  

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