Prying into their children’s backpacks, keeping teachers and principals on speed dial for daily conferences—we’ve all seen those parents lampooned on sitcoms and in movies. While most moms and dads want to keep tabs on what’s happening in the classroom, it’s sometimes hard to walk the fine line between overseeing and overwhelming their child’s education. Parent-teacher conferences and meet-the-teacher nights are givens; how else can you keep up with what’s going on in the classroom? Fortunately, there are many other ways to open the channels of communication with your child and his teachers—no hovering or snooping involved!
The best way to stay connected to your child’s education is to be there for her, both literally and figuratively. Many schools have parent organizations. Even if you’re a working parent and don’t have the time to join them, consider smaller ways to offer your time and services to your child’s school. With education budgets being slashed left and right, there’s no better time to volunteer. Younger children often love to have their parents assisting in the classroom. Offer to share a special skill as a guest speaker, donate books, or bring in a snack. While your teenage daughter may balk at the idea of you chaperoning the homecoming dance or assisting on a field trip, even high school classrooms often need less obvious support such as photocopying or organizing supply drives. All of these activities offer the chance to talk to teachers, become familiar with material used in the classroom, and observe the inner workings of the school. With so many different ways to be engaged, no parent need remain just at the periphery of their child’s schooling. When children see that their education is top priority for their parents, it often becomes more of a priority for them too.
More and more teachers are turning toward electronic communication in their classrooms. For busy parents and teachers with ever-increasing workloads, this is usually a huge advantage. While you should never let this replace the face-to-face chat, various avenues abound for parents to unobtrusively check in. Many schools have moved to a system of electronic grade posting that gives a parent or guardian a password and nearly 24/7 access to his or her child’s scores. Some teachers keep websites for their classrooms and may post information like upcoming tests and quizzes or web sites for enrichment. Almost all teachers at least have an email address, and many are receptive to email as a form of communication because it allows them to respond promptly, but still at their own convenience. Log in regularly online and off—whether you’re pulling newsletters from your child’s backpack or pulling up weekly classroom bulletins in your email, it’s important to read everything your child’s teacher sends home to you.
All too often, parents forget the most important player in parent-teacher communication: the child. Listen to what your child is saying about school. While some of what you hear may be noncommittal (as when children invariably respond with a shrug when pressed about how their day went), pay attention to the general attitude your child seems to have about class. Does he like his teachers? Is she bored? Follow up on these behavioral leads by taking your kid with you to parent-teacher conferences. While there are times that call for confidential sharing of information between adults, most teachers welcome the opportunity to discuss a student’s progress with the child present.
Bottom line? Talk to your child—but don’t stop there. Rather than just going through the motions of the “How was school today?” conversation, really delve into what he’s doing in class and bring it home for him. Your son’s learning about the environment in class? Talk about what’s recyclable in your house. Is your daughter working on a civics project? Watch the evening news together. Gestures like these are supportive without being overbearing. Ultimately, connecting school to home authenticates what kids are learning in the classroom, and keeps you in touch with what’s going on there.
Just as the pushy parent is caricatured on film, so too is the terrifying teacher—but don’t think for a minute your relationship with your child’s teacher has to submit to such stereotypes. Teachers are not the enemy; in truth, most of them teach out of a genuine love for the job and a deep concern for the welfare of their students. Don’t be afraid to talk to your child’s teacher about potential concerns, but remember to celebrate the successes with them as well. After all, you both want the same thing for your child, so treat your relationship with your child’s teacher as the supportive partnership it deserves to be.