I'll Have a Side of Spam with That
by John Pearson
When the great Monty Python troupe revealed their famous "Spam, Spam, Spam" skit, their joke was all about a food item, spiced ham. While canned Spam is still available in stores, the term spam has taken on another, arguably just as disgusting, aspect. In this technological age, spam now refers to unwanted e-mails.
Of course, if you're reading this online column, you probably already know all about spam. It probably annoys you just as much as it annoys me. I've gotten used to filtering through all of the spam that comes through my Yahoo accounts. However, I was surprised earlier this year when my school e-mail account started collecting spam.
Apparently, the district server guardians must have just flipped the filter to the off position, because the junk e-mail influx was sudden and overpowering. I had been getting five or six e-mails per day -- one or two from the principal or test coordinator, a couple of district announcements -- but all of a sudden, I was getting 40 e-mails a day.
Most of these new e-mails touted pharmaceuticals, websites, or cheap stocks. The drug e-mails were pretty limited in scope, as well. Nothing useful, like Advil or even Fractorix (Google it!). Mostly drugs to be consumed by men but enjoyed by women. Around Christmas time, I was harangued on a daily basis by both Santa Claus AND Jack Frost, who were competing to enlarge a specific part of my body. I was tempted to write to both of them that I only give my business to Rudolph, but I know better than to reply to spam e-mails. That only encourages them.