Musical Hugs
by Rae Pica
I don’t know a lot about children’s games from other countries. But I do know that, in this country, we focus quite a bit of time and attention on competition and elimination – on winning. A great many children’s games result in one winner and a lot of “losers.”
According to Alfie Kohn, in No Contest: The Case Against Competition, in our society the idea that competition is good, necessary, and inevitable “is drummed into us from nursery school to graduate school.” These beliefs are promoted so regularly – in both subtle and not-so-subtle ways – that they’re rarely questioned. Even if children were inclined to question a belief held so strongly by their parents and other role models, they don’t possess the mental ability to do so until the damage is already done. No, children figure out early that their parents, teachers, and coaches want them to “eat or be eaten.”
Yes, children eventually will need to learn it’s a competitive world and that they won’t always succeed at everything. But isn’t it far more imperative that children learn to cooperate – to learn how to be and work together? After all, life requires cooperation between spouses and among family members. Coworkers need to learn to collaborate. How about members of a community dedicated to the goal of making their area a better place to live? Or committee members working together toward the completion of a project?
Since cooperation must be learned (as does competition), I’m a big fan of cooperative games in early childhood. The research of sports psychologist Terry Orlick has demonstrated that young children exposed to cooperative games are later more likely to engage in cooperative behavior than children with no experience with these kinds of games.
Musical Hugs is a game that’s as simple as they come, but it has a lot to offer! Whenever you’ve got a group of children together, put on some music, inviting them to move around the area in any way they wish. When you stop the music, the children hug whoever is closest to them! For a more challenging version, ask two children to hug with the first round, three children to hug with the second round, four with the third round, and so forth, until there’s just one big group hug!
In addition to being a “feel-good” game that generates feelings of belonging and positive physical contact, Musical Hugs helps develop listening skills, particularly with the differentiation between sound and silence. It also provides moderate-intensity physical activity and offers practice with starting and stopping, which promotes self-regulation skills. All of that with one simple game!
Rae Pica is a children’s physical activity specialist and the author of A Running Start: How Play, Physical Activity, and Free Time Create a Successful Child (Da Capo Press, 2006) and Great Games for Young Children (Gryphon House, 2006). She has shared her expertise with such clients as the Sesame Street Research Department, the Centers for Disease Control, Gymboree Play & Music, and the President’s Council on Physical Fitness & Sports. She is also co-creator and host of "Body, Mind and Child," a radio program in which she interviews experts in the fields of early childhood education, child development, the neurosciences, and more. Listen at www.bodymindandchild.com.
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