Ask the Child Psychologist

Long Day of School?

by Lisa Medoff

Asha K. posted a question regarding her three-year-old daughter. She wants to know if it is advisable to put a child of that age into a preschool that runs from 8 am to 5:30 pm. Asha feels that she has no other alternative, as she just moved to a small town and there is no other school available.

It is difficult to leave your child in daycare or school for the first time, and having to adjust to a new community at the same time can put even more stress on both you and your daughter. You want to make sure that you find a school for her that minimizes that stress by helping both of you feel at ease when you leave her there. The first issue really should not be the amount of time that you leave your child, but if the school is a place where you feel good about leaving her, whether it is for one hour or ten.

Check out the program carefully before you even think about sending your daughter there. Spend a few hours in the school so you can see what your daughter’s day would be like.Bring your daughter with you so you can get a sense of whether or not she feels comfortable there. Look for the following:

• A well-trained staff with years of experience in early childhood education
• An emphasis on social skills through multiple opportunities for free play with other children
• Hands-on activities (such as art, gardening, animal care) that promote learning through fun exploration
• Activities and materials that stimulate physical and motor development
• A positive method of discipline with a focus on teaching appropriate behavior, rather than critical or shaming punishment
• Clean rooms and bathrooms
• Constant close supervision of all children – children should never be in an area where staff cannot see them and get to them quickly
• A positive, warm, loving environment where you would want to spend YOUR day
• In addition, you should gather information from other sources. Strike up conversations with people that you see around town with kids. Since you are in a small town, many people should be familiar with the school and can give you honest feedback. They may also have other ideas to suggest to you, such as parent participation groups or parent co-ops. As an added bonus, asking for advice can also be a good way for you to make new friends and get to know people with children in your new community.

If the school feels right to you, then you can move on to the next step of being concerned with the hours and schedule. The hours that you mention do seem to be quite long for a preschool day, and may refer to the times that staff is available for before and after-school care, rather than the time that the child is expected to be there. If the school day really is that long, ask if there are shorter days or other part-time programs offered. You should also ask about the daily schedule and make sure that there is a good mix of active play and downtime.