I Want the kids Menu
by Gary Drevitch
I want the kids’ menu. There, I said it. As a parent, I listen to kids’ music, read kids’ books, play kids’ games, laugh at kids’ knock-knock jokes, and watch kids’ videos and TV shows—over and over again. And everyone tells me that doing all of that makes me a lovely, patient guy, worthy of praise. So why, then, when I go to a restaurant with my kids and other people’s kids, do the other adults at the table look down on me when I confess that I’d rather have the chicken fingers than the chicken marsala? Chicken fingers are delicious and I’ll put you on a lie detector right now if you try to tell me they aren’t. And after watching every episode of Baby Einstein 10 times, you know what? You’d better believe I’ve paid my dues. I’m sure the ratatouille is fantastic here. Just give me the mac-and-cheese.
Unfortunately, it’s not that easy. Not only is it socially unacceptable to eat from the kids’ menu, it can also kill you. According to a study by the Journal of the American Board of Family Medicine, adults who live with kids take in more fat—and more saturated fat—than regular adults. Who’s to blame? The kids, who apparently influence our eating habits as much if not more than we influence theirs. (Maybe because their favorite foods taste better?)
Sometimes, parenting seems like negotiating with North Korea. We seek a compromise position, and ask the other side to move closer to our position as we move closer to theirs. But they have no intention of playing by the rules. You’ll say, Yes, of course you can have hot dogs tonight—if you also have broccoli. Then they’ll gobble up the hot dogs, ignoring the vegetable—and then where are you?
Eating healthy requires a massive amount of willpower, as an adult. For six-year-olds? The concept doesn’t even exist. So parenting becomes the opposite of being pregnant—instead of eating for two, you’re resisting for two. Much as I want two of everything on the kids’ menu, I order the catch of the day—and require that the kids eat a cup of vegetable soup before they dig in to their fingers and fries.
Now, as we get up from the table, and I linger to pay the check, if a leftover finger should depart with me? Think of it as my tip.
Gary Drevitch is a former assigning editor at Teen People, Parade Publications, and Scholastic. He’s also a dad with three young kids. A veteran producer of educational content for McGraw-Hill, Scholastic Inc., and Time Inc., he’s written several non-fiction books for children.
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Posted by Ram Prasad Adhikari on Sep 11, 2007 6:42 am