Even Teachers Still Have to Take Classes
by John Pearson
Schoolchildren of the world, take note! Several times each year, your teachers have the tables turned on them and must be students themselves. This is termed "Continuing Education," or "Professional Development," and it is something that teachers must undergo to maintain their certification.
Depending on the state and the certification, there are a certain number of hours of Professional Development that a teacher must obtain to remain in the profession. Many of these hours are taken care of with the days of inservice at one’s school. Before every school year begins, there is typically a week or two of staff meetings, training sessions, mandatory videos, and the like. Anyone who works in Dallas knows just how tedious it is to sit through that horrible sexual harassment video year after year after year.
In addition to the inservice days, though, there are certain classes that each teacher is required to take, and these are usually determined by the subject and/or grade level. I say usually, because there are occasional mistakes, like a math/science teacher being required to take a class on Best Practices in Social Studies. For the most part, though, the classes are applicable to the teacher.
As I mentioned in an earlier column, most teachers try to take their classes over the summer months. Unfortunately, I won't be able to do that this year due to previously made vacation plans, but I know from past experience what I could expect to see: Teachers Behaving Badly.
It's amazing to see how much these continuing education classes resemble a typical school class. Generally, teachers don't throw spitballs at the instructors, and they don't pull each other's hair. However, it's been my experience that teachers are anything but model students.
I have seen people spend the entire seven-hour class working a crossword puzzle in the newspaper or reading a novel. I'm always tempted to lean over and say, "You know Julian gets run over by a wheat thresher at the end, right?"
There are also people who have no sense of propriety when it comes to cell phones. I haven't quite decided which I think is worse, the person who answers their cell phone during class – "Oh, hi, Aunt Sue! No! Her goiter has gotten how big?!?" – or the person who lets their phone ring at top volume 27 times before it goes to voicemail. These are undoubtedly the same people who would have a complete meltdown if one of their students even mimed a phone conversation with thumb and pinkie in their classroom.
Summer classes often give me an appreciation for what it's probably like for my students in my class. If I'm feeling bored, or restless, or clownish in these classes, I can better understand why my students might get bored, restless, or clownish while I'm teaching.
Of course, I have the dreaded timeout at my disposal during the school year. I have yet to see a teacher put in timeout during a continuing education class.
Maybe this year will set a precedent in that matter. If so, I won't be around to see it, because I'll be too busy doing crossword puzzles and talking on the phone while I'm on vacation.
John Pearson is a third-grade math and science teacher in Dallas, Texas. He has degrees in mechanical engineering from Duke University and Texas A&M, so most consider his math abilities adequate enough to teach nine-year olds. He is also the author of Learn Me Good (Lulu, 2006), a funny, fictionalized account of his first year in education. Read more at learnmegood2.blogspot.com
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