Making a Spectacle of Yourself
by John Pearson
I'd like to begin by stating that I have never needed glasses or contact lenses to correct my vision. But I honestly think that if I did need them, I would wear them without hesitation.
Such has not been the case with many of the kids I've taught. It seems they would sooner eat brussels sprouts or write a book report on A Tale of Two Cities then wear glasses. Some have even gone to the extreme of breaking or losing their glasses on purpose so they won't have to wear them.
This is odd to me because I would think that if you're having trouble seeing, you would do anything you could to fix that problem. But a lot of kids would apparently rather just squint and blink.
I know that vanity plays a big role here. Though I have never heard a kid call another kid "four-eyes" at my school (which might speak to my kids’ math ability), there is always that fear of being mocked for looking different. The thing is, I have always had a few students in every class who wear glasses from day one. So the kids who are found to need glasses during the year would not exactly be trendsetters. Nevertheless, there are always protests.
Whenever I see indications that a child needs glasses -- squinting at the board, walking into trees, holding conversations with bulletin boards -- I send him or her down to the nurse for a vision check. If the child fails the test, we send home a note to the parents. Parents can then take that note to the eye doctor for free or greatly reduced eyewear.
There have been cases though, where the parents have chosen not to follow through with the nurse's recommendation. Or where the child has not taken the note to their parents.
Last year, I had a little girl in my class who was bright and very sweet. When the vision note came for her to take home, she had a visceral reaction. She started bawling and pleading, "NOOOOOO!! PLEASE!! My mom won't let me get glasses!"
I could understand this reaction if I was asking her to get a tattoo of the Pythagorean Theorem on her biceps. But glasses?? I asked her why her mother wouldn't let her get glasses and she replied, "Because they might break!"
I only hope this girl doesn't expect a car when she turns 16. She's in for disappointment.
The first year I taught, a representative from the district came to speak to my class about getting their vision checked. She ended on a high note by proclaiming, "I think glasses are sexy!"
In the years since, I just haven't been able to bring myself to make that same pitch to my classes. Maybe it's because I find it wildly inappropriate, or maybe it's because I'm just not convinced it would be very effective -- "Sure, ma'am, your daughter's glasses might indeed break, but just imagine how sexy she'll look!"
At any rate, I'm open to suggestions. Because, unlike Justin Timberlake, I have no plans on bringin’ sexy back.
John Pearson is a third-grade math and science teacher in Dallas, Texas. He has degrees in mechanical engineering from Duke University and Texas A&M, so most consider his math abilities adequate enough to teach nine-year olds. He is also the author of Learn Me Good (Lulu, 2006), a funny, fictionalized account of his first year in education. Read more at learnmegood2.blogspot.com
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