Teenage Drinking
Dear Dr. Medoff,
Teenage drinking is very prevalent at my son's high school. As parents, we do not approve. We suspect he drinks on occasion. How should we handle this?
-----Karen G., Washington, DC
Dear Karen,
Teenagers are sent so many mixed messages today. They are told by parents and teachers that substances such as alcohol and drugs are completely off-limits, yet they are bombarded with images from their favorite television shows, movies, and music videos about how drinking and drugs are essential ingredients for having a good time. Teens are caught in the middle of being children and adults, often at the discretion of when adults feel they should be obedient like children, or when they want them to be responsible like adults.
Experimenting with drinking is one way that teenagers think that they can assert their independence from parents, gain acceptance from friends, and feel like an adult, rather than a child. Many studies done by psychologists have shown that adolescents who experiment with alcohol in small amounts are just as well-adjusted and socially skilled, if not more so, than adolescents who completely abstain. However, teens do not yet have fully developed adult brains to assist them with impulse control and decision-making. Often, their decisions are based on what they value in the short-term, such as approval from friends. They don’t always consider potential long-term consequences.
The reality is that most teens are going to experiment with drinking; the important thing is to accept this reality and give your child the skills to handle a situation in which alcohol is present. You want your son to develop good decision-making abilities that he can use in a variety of situations. Here are some ideas that may help:
